THE INFORMATION #1053 JULY 12, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1053  
JULY 12, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com
  
“Aristippus passed Diogenes as he was washing lentils. He said, “If you could but learn to flatter the king, you would not have to live on lentils.” Diogenes said, “And if you could learn to live on lentils, you would not have to flatter the king”

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SEVENTY: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE  

“As for me,” said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent,, “I know who I am–or think I do–and I have a pretty reasonable idea of what I’m capable of. I prefer to remain behind the scenes. Anybody with any sense knows just enough to keep his head down where it’s prudent.Me,I’m thinking of becoming a lawyer. Not your crusading District Attorney; not your crooked criminal defense lawyer; not your country squire, either. When I graduate from college and Law School I’m going to the big city to practice corporate law. Let’s be realistic–that’s where the money is. And after twenty years of that? Maybe politics. Who can say. My old man isn’t a plutocrat by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s fairly well-off, and that’s the path he’s decided on for me, and I’m inclined to agree, because he’s one of the wisest men I ever met, and he knows I ain’t cut out to be any kind of sawbones or college professor. Though I wouldn’t mind teaching history someday. I’ve always liked history. Do you know who was a corporate lawyer? Why, the man whose name we mustn’t speak in front of you unreconstructed rebels.”


“Oh, when will you stop calling me a rebel?” said William Batchelder Tallent. “I still think the South got a raw deal, but–“


“Oh, there was a raw deal, alright, but it wasn’t put over on the south, but on the backs of the Negro.”


“Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree on that issue. But like I said, I was a babe in arms during the Reconstruction. I only know what I’ve been told, and I’m not inclined to believe everything I hear.”


“Then I will say the name. Lincoln. Lincoln was a corporation lawyer. Where do you think he got his money? How do you think he had the shekels to woo Mary Todd, who some say was also a confederate sympathizer? It wasn’t by playing faro with beaver-hatted sharpies on the Mississippi River! Anyway, corporate law is the best option I have. Why on earth do you think the monks have been pounding Latin into our thick skulls for the past five years? It’s because we’re all being groomed to be Doctors and Lawyers and University Professors. And, even if some of us fail to reach those exalted heights, Latin is a good way of teaching restless young lads how to spend their time learning a dead language, so they’re too tired at night to get up to mischief, and so they can spend forty years doing the same pointless tasks without yipping, because let’s face it–even a Doctor or a Lawyer can get away with only a smattering of classical languages. Even Shakespeare had ‘little Latin and less Greek’. Ahh–but he did have some. Enough to read a bit of Plutarch, I’ll wager. Unless, of course, you hold that it was all Bacon’s work. Which is poppycock. Shakespeare was a working actor with his own company. That’s how he was able to write such worthy plays. Occam’s razor, my lad. Latin also teaches logic. Something which the great mass of men sorely lack. Of course, logic can only take you so far. You also have to learn when to keep your mouth shut. That’s almost as important. 


“A man who practices the law is a bit like a priest, nowadays. You tell him his sins, and he takes a vow of silence–as long as you pay him–not in penitential prayer, mind you, but in cash on the old barrelhead. And have you ever noticed that a judge wears the same robes as a monk? Just a theory of mine. God’s law is slowly being replaced by man’s law. And priests and lawyers have quite a bit to say to each other, if they only knew. I mean, as I understand it, the whole system of jurisprudence we now enjoy arose from Roman Law, which gave birth to canon law, which is older than the European system of law, which we inherited by way of the British. A gross oversimplification, I know, but food for thought. But I can see I’m boring you, Mawny.” 


“Not really,” said William Batchelder Tallent. “But tell me this–how do lawyers become politicians?”


“Well,” said Glen Phillips, “Politicians are legislators. And legislators make laws. What could be simpler? But it isn’t as simple as all that. You see, lawyers tend to have a lot of influential clients. And these influential men have money. And they know other men of influence. Who also have money. And if you’re the right sort of person, and you can keep your thoughts to yourself unless you are asked for them, and, incidentally, be well-compensated for them in the bargain–either in gold or in favors–then there’s no telling how far you can go. You see, men have replaced the laws of nature with the codes of civilization. Nature will have its say, but the man who knows the codes and can sort through the maze of the Minotaur can accomplish quite a bit. He may not get his heart’s desire, but he might just get his own way every now and again. And that means a lot.”


“But you’ve got to marry up, if at all humanly possible. A man is judged by the company he keeps. It simply won’t do to marry a slattern. Nor should your pretty young wife be expected to soil her dainty hands with coarse duties. Better she should serve instead as your ambassador to the world of culture, and all the finer things. That’s why you need money. Not simply to dress her in her best bib and tucker, but to employ a staff to keep your house fit for receiving important guests. Big bugs. Men of influence, who, incidentally, notice everything about you–from a frayed shirt collar to a loose button to a pair of unshined shoes.”


“And all this superficial show takes money.  Take that thought to sleep with you tonight. Always have money. At the very least, enough money tobuy you a little log cabin in the woods–in case it all goes to shit, and you need a safe harbor for you and yours.”


“God will provide. But dinero is better. Money, money money. Never forget that.” 


1* SALUTATION
CHARLIE RICH
WHO WILL THE NEXT FOOL BE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN0C-p77W1M 

ALSO SEE: 
BOBBY BLUE BLAND
WHO WILL THE NEXT FOOL BE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjzY5i3jDbc&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR2WRn-xPl7gRKiyMY_hinvVtMf4UlqziAEUsxi4IcSVHJlweHUUFYzOLIE  

2*REFERENCE
THIRTY THINGS MILLENNIALS ARE KILLING OFF
https://www.reference.com/slideshow/things-millennials-are-killing-off  

3*HUMOR
Full text of “Brother Gardner’s Lime-Kiln Club : being the regular proceedings of the regular club for the last three years ; with some philosophy, considerable music, a few lectures, and a heap of advice worth reading”
https://archive.org/stream/brothergardners01quadgoog/brothergardners01quadgoog_djvu.txt  

4*NOVELTY
26 NOVELS
1. WARP AND WOOF. In defending himself from murder charges, a police dog must confront his past.
2. YOU’RE A MEAN ONE, MR. DEATH. While testifying before a high
tribunal, Mr. Death must justify one of his life-altering decisions.
3. THE GOSPEL OF YESHUA. Was it a crucifixion? Or just a friendly
dice game–gone terribly, terribly wrong?
4. OLD BUDDY OLD PAL OLD FRIEND OF MINE. Everybody called him “Buddy” but he was nobody’s Buddy. In fact, he was secretly at war with the entire world–and on June 28th, he showed his hand.
5. TOTALITARIANS R US. Big Brother shows a corporate smiley face in
this dystopian thriller set in the year “Thrtn”.
6. ACID FUZZ. Police working the “Hippie Beat” in late-sixties
Jivetown are unwittingly dosed with an experimental hallucinogen, and
tragic hijinks ensue.
7. THE WEEPING BOHUNK. Dying department store magnate recalls his
start in the retail business as a sensitive immigrant with only 20
cents in his pocket, as well as a penchant to weep at the drop of a
hat, which he parlayed into a vast fortune.
8. OH, ALFRED! A dignified British Butler is inexorably drawn, against
his will, into participating in his American playboy employer’s kinky
costume fetish games.
9. DIFFICULT CORPSES. The dead simply won’t stay dead in this
supernatural thriller set on an unnamed Caribbean island.
10. GLOBAL BLACK LEATHER TASK FORCE. In their declining years,
decrepit former greasers in a small town join forces to grow opium
poppies in their back yards and sell the ensuing sap to a local
chemist to make high-grade “horse”.
11. THE THREE CEREBRALS. A bumbling trio of intellectuals manage to
make fools of everyone.
12. LUCKY IN JAIL. Mr. Lucky lands in the slammer, but the convicts
leave him alone because he’s a childhood friend of Baby Boy Maddox, a convicted cop-killer who exerts a hypnotic occult influence over
everyone he encounters.
13. MY THREE SCUM. Nixontown’s best (and so far only) Punk Rock band, who live in a dying mill town, finds that it’s hard to stand out as
nihilists when their few fans are even more cynical than they are.
14. ALL THINGS TRITE AND SENTIMENTAL. A palsied, purblind, doddering veterinarian relates in a senescent faltering stammer how, though his extreme ineptitude, he has managed to kill every animal unfortunate enough to be brought to him for treatment.
15. CLAY GARCIA, THE SLEEPY PROPHET. Devotees and acolytes raptly memorize the nonsensical glossolalia of the eponymous hero. Meanwhile, a jealous midget hatches a plan to plunder the donated gold of the credulous lifelong faithful.
16. MOM’S NEW LOOK. Fifteen year old Stella is worried. Her divorced
Mom has found a beau, thinks she’s young again, and has begun dressing inappropriately and consuming alcoholic beverages.
17. BITE MY CRANK, YOU FUCKING RAT. An embittered ex-employee of “Mouseland” spins for his cellmate a bawdy tale of one drunken day
which culminates in a visit to “the front office” with a loaded pistol
and a list of non-negotiable demands.
18. GOD DAMN FLIES. The bitter curse-laden rants and ruminations of an elderly Polish Grandmother who sits on her front porch and remembers her own misbegotten youth while around her there rages a Superbowl riot. [That’s actually what my own Polish grandmother once said, as she ineffectually swatted at the insects on a Sunday, much to my own infantile horror and fascination at her reckless blasphemies.]
19. HOW DRUNK I WAS, HOW DRUNK. Sequel to GOD DAMN FLIES, in which the 101 year old Grandmother’s bitter 85 year old son muses out loud in the ear of the deaf old lady about how much better food used to taste during the Great Depression.
20. POTTERSTOWN. Mr. Potter from the Frank Capra film movingly tells his side of the story, including his ultimately successful struggle to
convert sleepy Bedford Falls into the libertarian paradise of
Potterstown: a land of universal license; one long mad carnival of
vice and frivolity.
21. NEMESIS RUNS THROUGH ALL THE ELEMENTS. Nemesis, the Greek Goddess of Retribution, returns to earth and petulantly reverses the industrial revolution.
22. AND IF THE DEVIL COME, SHOOT HIM WITH A GUN. Hard-boiled private eye Michael Hochengel obsessively hunts down a mysterious troublemaker spoken of–and that, only in whispers–as “Satan”.
23. LUST AHOY! A rich boy concealing his identity signs onto a tramp
steamer and has a steamy affair with a porn star masquerading as a
lady. Complications ensue before their true identities are finally
revealed by the ship’s captain, who has been privy to all
the facts the whole time.
24. THE HAPPIEST THOUSANDAIRE. Young southerner comes north, mouth agape at the fabulous salary he commands as a travel agent, and contentedly lives parked in a wooded area between two lanes of the freeway, in the flatbed of his pickup truck, with his two old hounds
for company and warmth. Until there’s a unsolved murder in those very same woods, and the police begin to “interfere.”
25. PLEASURE ISLAND. Do you have a brightly colored handkerchief
stuffed deep in your back pocket that you would like very much for some attractive new friend to retrieve for you? Then come to the island resort where nobody knows your name and almost anything goes–except celibacy!
26. THE PROCRASTINATOR. Young Bart Elbee was known for only one
thing–his inability to accomplish any one thing. So when he takes up
residence in the home of a wealthy scion of old money and refuses to
move out, hilarity results–as the humorous schemes devised to
dislodge him all inevitably backfire!  

SEE ALSO:
12 NOVELS
1. STROPMUTH MANOR
2. THAT’S WHERE HAPPINESS BEGINS
3. BOATS TO FOREVER
4. BLUEBIRD STREET
5. THE SPOOK HOUSE
6. WOULDN’T YOU MISS ME AT ALL?
7. A WORLD OF BROKEN BOTTLES
8. BROTHER OCTOPUS
9. THE WHITE MOMENT
10. I COULD BE LIKE JESUS
11. SONGS IN A STRANGE LAND
12. HAPPENING TODAY

SEE ALSO:
100 NOVELS
1. RED CLOUDS
2. WAITING FOR 1963
3. THE EMPIRES OF THE MIND
4. THE LOVE COUNTRY
5. THE DROPOUT FACTORY
6. SOG
7. REVOLUTIONS IN ROCK
8. LIKE FALLING SUGAR
9. THE CONSERVATIVE SUPERMAN
10. X THE UNKNOWN
11. JUNKIE HOLOCAUST
12. IMMORTAL INSPECTOR PARROT
13. SUGAR HIGH
14. BEHOLD, THIS DREAMER COMETH
15. WILD JUSTICE
16. CHAOS AND OLD NIGHT
17. CRIMINAL WORLD
18. SUSPICION
19. SOME POOR SWEET WOMAN’S ANGEL CHILD
20. UNCLE BUNK
21. THE FIVE DEVILS YOU MEET IN HELL
22. THE MAGIC CASINO
23. BLACK RICE
24. MR. CAP’N
25. SUBMISSION IS VISION
26. CRASH & BURN
27. WARM MOVING BODIES
28. N OF 1
29. RED MOON
30. MERCURY RISING
31. RED, RED
32. A MISER’S NOTES
33. MURDER WAS THE PUNCH LINE
34. PENDLETON’S DESCENT
35. THE WHITE METROPOLIS
36. EVERY GREAT FORTUNE
37. USPQR
38. WHEN COUSINS MARRY
39. THAT’S WHEN HAPPINESS BEGINS
40. MR. VELVET
41. ZIEMSKA
42. THE WHITE ANGEL’S LIFE OPERA
43. THE DICTIONARY OF FOOLS
44. HEART UPSIDE DOWN
45. I GOT LEVITATION
46. TOO CLEVER BY HALF
47. TWELVE STEPS DOWN
48. YOU LOOK SO WASTED
49. SHITHOUSE MOUSE
50. FOR THE LOVE OF IVY
51. FURIES
52. IT LOVES BLOOD
53. DEADLY ARCADIA
54. THE COUNTRY OF MADNESS
55. BLACK OVER BLACK
56. DESTROY THE CARNIVAL
57. TEN GENTLE REQUESTS
58. LOVERS FROM THE MOON
59. FREAK SHOW AMATEUR HOUR
60. AMERICAN JOKES
61. GAGLAND
62. YOUR SMILE IS KILLING ME
63. FEAST ON MY HEART
64. SAYING WEEP NO MORE
65. THE THUNDERSTONE: STROPMUTH MANOR
66. THAT’S WHERE HAPPINESS BEGINS
67. BOATS TO FOREVER
68. BLUEBIRD STREET
69. THE SPOOK HOUSE
70. WOULDN’T YOU MISS ME AT ALL?
71. A WORLD OF BROKEN BOTTLES
72. BROTHER OCTOPUS
73. THE WHITE MOMENT
74. I COULD BE LIKE JESUS
75. SONGS IN A STRANGE LAND
76. HAPPENING TODAY
77. OUT, OUT
78. WORLD OVER 
79. OUT-TAKES
80. TWENTY YEARS AT HELL HOUSE
81. DR. LAWRENCE SAMUEL DUNN
82. GREASE BACKWARDS
83. LIQUOR STORE IN NOXTOWN
84. LIQUOR TOWN TODAY
85. MITIGATED GALL
86. DR. SANTA
87. GOING TO THE MILL
88. TO THE SEA
89. ROBOTS DIE
90. PRESIDENT MANHOOD
91. THE STORY OF THE
92. THE LAUGHING GUNMAN
93. THE KILL CLUB
94. STAGECOACH TO HELL
95. GAP DAY
96. THE PERFECT MEATLOAF
97. ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY OVERLORDS OF SIRIUS
98. THE NAIVE REACTION
99. CITY OF EDIBLE DOG CHEWS
100. SPEECH TO THE VAGINA CONVENTION  

ALSO SEE:
CARTOON NAMES
THE SWEET CHEEP GONE
LIES, DAME LIES, AND STATISTICS
THE WINGS AND SPARERIBS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE
WITH MY LITTLE CROW AND SPARROW
THE COW JUMPED OVER THE MOO
PACK UP YOUR KITTIES IN A TROUBLE BAG
HOW MUCH IS THAT DODO IN THE WINDOW
MOO VELVET
DEMONS ARE A GHOUL’S BEST FIEND
BRAIN BRAIN GO AWAY
BLESSED ARE THE CHIC
THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER J. KITTY
BROTHEL CAN YOU SPARE A DAME
THE CANDY-CANE MUTINY
CRY WOOF
GNOME ON THE RANGE
WILL O’ THE WASP
A BUNNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
IF I ONLY HAD A DAME

SEE ALSO:
TYPICAL AMAZON REVIEW
“The Duel: The Eighty-Day Struggle Between Churchill and Hitler” is perhaps the most shameful, deceitful, prejudiced and downright childish attack on a political figure I’ve ever read, and the recipient of this repugnant scorn? None other than Adolf Hitler! Perhaps the most complete Fuhrer of all time. The holder of so many Iron Crosses it would be impossible to list them all here! This is nothing more than an outright attack on a professional dictator by a two-bit historian for no other reason than he is a Winston Churchill fan, and he appears to have this misguided inferiority complex where he thinks the entire world recognizes Hitler as the only Dictator to have existed in the 30s/40s and his “poor” favorite Joe Stalin, is somehow ignored because of all the attention Herr Hitler receives for his amazing military feats.  

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
TEN JUNK FOODS THAT DON’T TASTE THE SAME ANY MORE
https://www.metv.com/lists/10-favorite-foods-that-dont-taste-the-same-as-when-you-were-a-kid

6* DAILY UTILITY
INCREASE MINIMUM WAGE AND REDUCE SUICIDES
https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2019/04/30/researchers-say-theres-simple-way-reduce-suicides-increase-minimum-wage/?fbclid=IwAR2eRluaN1IQ8jzN_i324ndV2Fy8HNfxd1goVhGXV3qlF4wwwT6NizhiVNM&noredirect=on&utm_term=.3e2f7ac4bc4d

7*CARTOON
DC COMICS PSAS
She seems rather long in the tooth to be a miss teen America. Just sayin’.
https://dimenno.files.wordpress.com/2019/07/31d82-img_1275.jpg

ALSO SEE:
sacomics.blogspot.com/2010/12/psas.html
comicsbin.blogspot.com/2011/06/wanted-safe-bus-riders-dc-psas-of-60s.html  

SEE ALSO:
PSA: NINE TIPS ALLEGEDLY WRITTEN BY A COP
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/written-by-a-cop/?fbclid=IwAR1J2d2-omyxleefCKZetEehHuMCgmWNNGRcnvndhiOpGF1XQ8E4Jvz1tkM

8*PRESCRIPTION
SCENE LISTS
https://thewritepractice.com/scene-list/?fbclid=IwAR2qA5iuqWysxm-pGQJAMTvSLYmwxlSdNTRltbyCbS1g9P2bVPw-XPIaGLw

ALSO SEE:
WORKFLOWY
https://workflowy.com/

SEE ALSO:
EVENT PROMO TEMPLATE
Ever notice how newspaper feature writers follow an inanely predictable formula regarding events promo? “I remember when we used to do such and such. We would greatly enjoy doing such and such. Now you, too can enjoy doing such and such–at X location on Y date. Be sure and bring your Z!”  

ALSO SEE:
YESTERDAY’S HEADLINES
SCHOLARS REASSESS LINCOLN AS “THE FIRST OBAMA”
STUMP-TOOTHED IMBECILES FURIOUSLY DENY MEMBERSHIP IN REPUBLICAN PARTY
SOMALIA, POINTING TO WORLD MARKETS, RESENTS “RELENTLESS DOWNWARD SPIRAL” SLUR
STUDY SHOWS VITAMIN-ENRICHED CIGARS DO NOT PREVENT CANCER
FASHIONISTAS PROCLAIM NEGATIVE EQUITY IS “THE NEW BLACK”
ONE IN TEN AMERICANS NOW REDUCED TO EATING FOOD STAMPS
IN BUDGET MOVE, ENGLISH DICTIONARIES AXE 200,000 “UNDERPERFORMING” WORDS
PSYCHOTIC TV-WATCHING AMERICANS CLAIM TO SEE “MESSAGES EVERYWHERE”
VATICAN REVEALS HOLY GHOST IS “AN AFRICAN GRAY PARROT”
EXPERTS WARN NEW METHADONE REGS WILL CAUSE JUNKIE EXODUS FROM CHICAGO
VEGAS INTRODUCES POPULAR NEW TRIGGER-ACTIVATED SLOTS
WALL STREET FRETS THAT OUT-OF-TOWN SENATORS ARE “AGITATORS”
NERVOUS INVESTORS POUR MONEY INTO PRISONS, FUNERAL HOMES, VIENNA SAUSAGES
URBAN HOBOS SCRAP OVER PRIME HEATING GRATE REAL ESTATE
STUDY SHOWS THAT OBSESSIVELY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES BLOCKS OUT UNPLEASANT “REALITY”
MILLIONAIRES COMPLAIN THAT MONEY IS NO LONGER “FUN”
SCHOOLCHILDREN NOW USE BLACK CRAYONS TO DRAW PICTURES OF THE SKY
CINNAMON AND CLOVE AIR FRESHENERS SMELL LIKE “BUFFALO DUNG”
FANS COMPLAIN SPRINGSTEEN NOW SOUNDS LIKE A “SICK CHAIN-SMOKING DOG”
GAZA’S JAW BRUISES ISRAEL’S FIST
DEFIANT EURO SWAGGERS AS IT FALLS
DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE RAISES FUNDS BY SELLING ADS ON “BUNKER BUSTERS”
REMAINING FIVE FANS AGHAST AS ROSIE CEASES BLOGGING
PSYCHICS REPORT VOICES OF EVIL DEAD ARE SAYING “TOLD YOU SO”
EVIL ROBOTS EVERYWHERE LOOK FORWARD WITH GLEE TO COMING “ANALOG SUNSET”
57% OF RUSSIANS BELIEVE U.S. DESIRES “ONLY PARTIAL DESTRUCTION” OF RUSSIA
CHINESE EXPORTERS RECORD NUMBERS OF ROPES TO HANG OURSELVES WITH
MILITARY “SUICIDE SQUAD” EXCEEDS YEARLY RECRUITMENT GOAL
JADED TODDLERS NOW NO LONGER BELIEVE UNATTENDED TOYS SECRETLY “COME ALIVE”
EMINENT WRITER SMOTHERED BY “FRAGRANCE OF HIS OWN PROSE”
18M AMERICANS “CONFUSED AND ANGRY” OVER BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DIAGNOSES
ENTERTAINERS CONVINCED OWN PSYCHIC WOUNDS ARE “HEALED” BY “MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY”  
 
9* RUMOR PATROL
THE RISE AND FALL OF GREAT WORLD CITIES
https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2016/jun/27/rise-fall-great-world-cities-5700-years-urbanisation-mapped?CMP=share_btn_fb

10*LAGNIAPPE
JIMMIE DRIFTWOOD
BILLY YANK & JOHNNY REB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5-rURd90sw&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR0il6XhveP45Tc0dvmLL6I8OhKjF37Sj9PmHAOGXfnaO143p2TVnHsYoKU  

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
GODFATHER IV. Soundtrack by Simon & Garfunkel. Track Listing: Mulberry and Bleecker Street; The Sounds of Omerta; This is a Groovy Thing of Ours We Got Going; Sicily (Somewhere They Can’t Find Me); Vegas Bound; The Dangling Canary; Old Friends of Ours; L’America; The Only Living Snitch in New York; Cuba Si, Castro No.  

12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
MY FIFTY FAVORITE CARTOONISTS
E C Segar
Harvey Kurtzman
Will Elder
Milt Gross
George Grosz
Chester Gould
Thomas Nast
Steve Ditko
Wally Wood
Will Eisner
Walt Kelly
Harold Grey
Al Capp
Robert Crumb
Spain
Justin Green
George Herriman
Willie Murphy
Rick Altergott
Guy Colwell
Roy Crane
Jack Kirby
C. C. Beck
Jack Cole
Floyd Gottfredson
Carol Tyler
Cliff Sterrett
Billy DeBeck
Geo. McManus
Alex Toth
Frank King
Carl Barks
Bernie Krigstein
Frank Miller
Charles Schulz
Gene Deitch
John Stanley
Roz Chast
Jack Davis
Basil Wolverton
Johnny Craig
George Evans
Graham Ingels
Jack Kamen
Dick Briefer
Art Spiegelman
Bill Sienkiewicz
William Messner-Loebs
S. Clay Wilson
Gilbert Shelton

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MODERN WISDOM NUMBER 252 JULY 2019

MODERN WISDOM
NUMBER 252

JULY 2019

Copyright 2019 Francis DiMenno

dimenno@gmail.comhttp://www.dimenno.wordpress.com  

1. NOIR MISFORTUNE COOKIES

SECOND SERIES

851. No supper waiting–even after you slaved all day over a hot Uzi! 

852. Your innocence is a fairy tale–and the D.A. is a realist.

853. They can all see the invisible tattoo on your forehead that reads “sucker”.
854. Wifey lives for kicks. Hubby no give, she’ll get them any way she can.

855. Misfortune is a bullet from a gun, and you’re the bull’s-eye.

856. You used to be a mere criminal; now they call you a terrorist.

857. Your biggest crime is your insane passion–for crime.

858. Do not seek a conspiracy against you–a single man can do you evil enough.

859. You were the ultimate prostitute. Until you married your wife. 

860. You have no one to go to, but you’ll certainly get what’s coming to you.

861. You are trapped playing a game where the fix is already in.

862. The murder investigation was a joke–a joke at your expense.

863. How ironic. Your own laziness has forced you to run for your life.

864. You are a friend everyone can afford to be without.

865. You can’t even sell your murder confession to Hollywood. Too boring.

866. You were once young and foolish–now you are old and ignorant.

867. Nobody knows about your secret life, clever one–except the police.

868. In your case, there is no such thing as an innocent coincidence.

869. Why are you indecisive? There is only one thing to do. RUN!

870. You have sold your soul to feed that monkey on your back.

871. Sharper, you have conned yourself out of your own life.

872. She married you to change you. She changed instead. Not for the better.

873. Why do you act so weird? They will make you their patsy.

874. They floated you to the top. Play ball, or they’ll sink you to the bottom.

875. You try to act dignified, but everyone knows you are drunk.

876. The judge is not impressed by your self-righteous plea for tolerance.

877. The Mob wants more from you than they know you can give.

878. You were an apprentice to murder. You outdid your master–and took the fall.

879. You have absolutely nowhere to turn–but to the grave.

880. You are alive only to serve the winners. For you are a loser.

881. You finally lost her love, simply by doing nothing.

882. All your alibis reek of premeditation, jailbird.

883. “I didn’t do what I did and I won’t do it again” is not an excuse.

884. All the drink in the world cannot not put out the raging fire in your heart.

885. You are a fool they can use–for your favorite folly.

886. Your heart of ice will not help you–in hell.

887. Your only choice is the tiger–or the tiger lady.

888. You WERE the fool-killer. Now, you’re the FOOL.

889. You were once a leading criminal. Now you are an outstanding victim.

890. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time, you’re dead.

891. All you had was your dignity, and even that has now been compromised.

892. Everyone is your friend–but nobody envies you.

893. You missed no detail except the one which might have saved your miserable life.

894. The strangest coincidence of all is that so far you have been allowed to live.

895. You have mistaken your secret desires for reality and now you will pay.

896. You now can neither dish it out nor take it.

897. There’s no free lunch, and brunch is even more expensive. 

898. Feigned eccentricity is merely an ill-fitting mask for your utter stupidity.

899. You are a bad man with only one saving grace–your charming ineptitude.

900. When you were poor you were depressing, and now you are merely a wealthy bore.


2. MODERN WISDOM

It’s official. Anything that happened more than 50 years ago is “corny”. So much for the Kennedy Assassination.

The first time I watched the Zapruder film on television, I kept wondering: Where is the laugh track?

Whenever I hear people sneering at the Beatles, that’s when I reach for my copy of “Revolver”.


And when they sneer at Mission of Burma, that’s when I reach for my copy of “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver”.

Canada has a 100 per cent literacy rate. But what do they have to write home about? “Dear Mom, It snowed. Again. Love, Pierre.”

They don’t manufacture nostalgia the way they used to.

We hold our self-evidences to be truth.

Why must we eat ham to celebrate the alleged resurrection of a deceased freelance Jewish Rabbi?

Every age is dominated by the genre that serves, or that flatters it best.

Maybe the crucifixion was just a dice game that got just a little bit out of hand.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child. But usually I just order a hamburger.


3. SONGS FOR A NEW AGE

“INTERNET TOUGHGUY”
Dear Sir or Madam will you read my post,
It took an hour to write, though I hate to boast;
It’s based on a flamewar back in ’99
And I’m still upset and I want to be
An internet toughguy
Internet toughguy-yi-yi-yi-yi…

“EVERYBODY MUST GET FLAMED”
Aww, they’ll flame you if you kill a lousy thread.
They’ll flame you if you wear your hair in dreads,
They’ll flame you if you’re bonkers or you’re starkers,
Or if you take it up the old brown barker:
But you should not act as though you’re maimed–
Everybody must get flamed – ! 

4. INTRODUCING…HONKEY’S DELI
“Food Sliced Before Your Eyes”

“ALL OUR SANDWICHES ARE HOUSE MADE”

1) HONKEY’S SPECIAL: Pastrami on White with Mayo. $5.99

2) THE MOTHER TRUCKER: Scrambled Egg Sandwich with Ketchup on Your
Choice of White or Raisin Bread. $3.99

3) THE HI AND LOIS SPECIAL: Mashed Potato Sandwich on Potato Bread. $2.99

4) NEPTUNE’S DELITE: “Fresh” Fish Cake Sandwich with Ketchup and Fries
Between Two Halves of a Toasted English Muffin. MARKET PRICE.

5) OUR “FAMOUS” ITALIAN SUB: We Don’t Make It, We Build It! Featuring:
Crisp Iceberg Lettuce, Tomatoes, Pickles, Hard Boiled Eggs, Bologna,
Mustard, Mayonnaise, Relish, Olive Loaf, Cooked Salami, Pickle Loaf,
Ranch Dressing, And All On a Crisp “Sub” Roll Brushed with Butter and
Toasted Under a Broiler. NO SUBSTITUTIONS! $6.99

5. KEATS ON THE INTERNET
Give me but connection, and I’ll unfold
Such proclamations as shall shake the night;
Give me but a topic and my anger bold,
Or word of feuding witlings in their spite;
Grant me an adversary and an hour
And leave me undertake my worthy quests;
My words shall prove my purpose and my power
Until my life shall cease and still my jests. 

6. THINGS I COULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW
Installing an 8-track player.
Kicking the tires on an AOL contract.
Flipping through the ole Service Merchandise catalog.
Whispering to a moving car.
Masturbating to an old National Geographic…. that he’s committed to memory.
Writing countless letters to Reader’s Digest and then mailing them
with postage that has not been sufficient since around 1991.
Challenging the server at Wikipedia to a little game of one-on-one.
Yelling at his accountant because the man on the Federal Express pony
had not yet arrived at his door.–WTF Jones

Calculating the algorithm contained within obsolete comic strips.
Watching static on an old analog TV.
Practicing phrenology on a statue of Don Quixote.
Quantifying the facets of sand grains.
Screaming at a librarian.
Translating Kaczynski into binary.
Trephinating himself. –Benhamean

Conjugating the verbs of dead languages.
Peering at his list of randomly generated numbers and yelling them at passersby.
Writing cryptic aphorisms on restaurant sugar packets.
Putting on a postman’s uniform so he can surprise the postman.
Unmasking Pynchon while wearing a Salinger mask.
Recreating the life of Charlie Patton in shoebox-diorama format.
Deconstructing something, hard.
Setting a dramatic reading of True Crime magazine (August 1954) to a
mashup of “Yakety Sax” and “Flight of the Bumblebee.”–Jody the Pig

Carrying a concrete slab.
Washing his clown suit–Dan PM

Correcting Roget.
Yelling at his Chex Mix for being lazy, unscrupulous fops.–Danny Vermin

Putting the finishing touches on his stacks of old newspapers.
Reading the restraining order Robert Crumb sent him.
Incessantly calling AM radio shows that are not call in shows.
Counting how many names are in the phone book.
Ordering pizza at McDonalds.
Writing a 800 page essay to Funk & Wagnalls pointing out entries from
their 1974 edition that are no longer current.
Leaving dead birds, mice and candy bars in the overnight drop box at
Blockbuster.–Maximum Tor

Translating the Pentagon Papers into Latin.
Feverishly researching evidence to help acquit Bruno Hauptmann of the
Lindbergh kidnapping/murder.
Posthumously indicting Caspar Weinberger of war crimes.
Demanding a recount for Samuel Tilden.
Writing meandering, stream of consciousness diatribes to Lynn Johnston’s agent.
–Charlemagne

Ironing his purple suit.
Shouting at a parked car.
Mowing his paved driveway.
Running full sprint on and off exit ramps on the turnpike.
Brushing his teeth with a spoon.
Having a staring contest with a statue.
Winning the staring contest with a statue and now advancing to
quarterfinals against a head of lettuce.
Ironing his favorite tank top with a football.
Snorkeling in a big puddle–Sixpinelbow

Refilling his bottles of 100 different cooking oils.–Pete the Greek

Looking for clues in abandoned paper mills in Holyoke.
Jerking off while looking at a Jimmy Olson comic book.–Dave K.

Cutting and pasting the binary code for Unix.–ImIdaho

[Editor’s Note: What I was actually doing was:
1) Eating a bowl of multi-bran chex with 1% milk and ABC Trek Mix.
2) Talking to an accountant.
3) Preparing to write a grant application.
The hell of it is, eating the cereal was by far the most interesting
part of the day.]

7. AN ODE
As I fell into a swoon,
In the morbid month of June,
All the news did banish joy
But the tabloid news ahoy;
It, of course, was most upbeat;
Stars must never sound defeat
They will shine upon the city
Always gay and always giddy,
Even when the news is shitty,
And entrance us with their art–
Even as we fall apart.
 
8. AN EXPERT WEIGHS IN ON THE BEST DOG FIGHTING MATCHES
The best dog fighting matches I’d say would have to be same breed
matches because they’re pretty much equal in everything so it would be
an even fight.

I’m going to make this as simple as I can. This is jus[t] how it is
and there’s nothing you can do about it.

(All dogs are ranked as if they were GAME BRED)
If the dogs are not game bred then the fights outcome can be unpredictable.

Dogs that can fight…

First Class
– APBT
– Tosa Inu

Dogs that have little or no chance of beating the first class…

Second Class
– Dogo Argentino
– American Bandogge
– English Bull Terrier
– American Staffordshire Terrier
– American Bulldog
– Presa Canario
– Bully Kutta
– Fila Brasileiro

Dogs that have little or no chance of beating the second class…

Third Class
– Caucasian Ovtcharka
– Neapolitan Mastiff
– Spanish Bulldog
– Cane Corso
– Mallorquin Bulldog (Ca De Bou)
– Gul Dong
– Dogue De Bordeaux
– Guatemalan Bull Terrier
– Indian Bull Terrier
– Staffordshire Bull Terrier

And finally dogs that have no chance or little of beating the third
class but can still hold their own…

The fourth class
– German Shepherd
– Doberman
– Rottweiler
– Shar Pei
– Alaskan Malamute
– Bullmastiff
– Wolf Hybrids
– Chow Chow (yes, even the Chow Chow)
– Most of the ovtcharkas
– A few shepherds.
– Akita Inu
– Thai Ridgeback
– Tibetan Mastiff, (and almost every other of mastiff origin that I
didn’t name, including the Boerboel and others)

The Fourth Class can go on forever. It mainly consists of your most
common, popular breeds that you think so highly of…

Believe it or not, when it comes down to, pound for pound that’s just how it is!

9. THE EVIL OPPOSITE OF WRITERS

“We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas
suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical
result of the way in which our democratic society is organized.”
–Bernays, Propaganda (1928)

Ad people seem to be an awful lot like the evil opposite of writers.
Writers recall memories and sensations for a higher purpose;
advertisers implant memories and sensations for a degraded purpose.

Back in the 60s, Canada Dry had an ad campaign that featured the
following song lyric:

Ginger ale tastes like love
Canada Dry Ginger Ale
Ginger ale…tastes like love.

(Which might be true, if you’re fucking a gingerbread man.)

In the vast literature of writing about advertisers (Marshall McLuhan;
David Oglivie; Thomas Frank; Marie Winn; Vance Packard; Wilson Scott
Key; “The Hucksters” by Frederick Wakeman), Stuart Ewen is a
particular favorite of mine. He seems to have strayed off the
reservation as of late.

But his early book, Captains of Conciousness, is an eye-opener.

http://www.amazon.com/Captains-Consciousness-Advertising-Consumer-Culture/dp/0465021557

“[Advertising] translat[es] the process of consumption into an erotic
spectacle. . . . .”–Stuart Ewen

This is, of course, precisely what the Situationists were saying. That
we’ve become a society of spactacle or a ‘Spectacular Society.” Of
course, they were saying this beginning back in the 1950s. (See Griel
Marcus’s Lipstick Traces:)

http://www.amazon.com/Lipstick-Traces-History-Twentieth-Century/dp/0674535812

For me, Ewen’s value lies in his having traced this process back to the 1920s.

It’s still going on, this sexualization and (what I call) this
Stalinization of Commodities.

(I use the term “Stalilinization” to refer, not to Stalin’s policies
so much, as in the classical definition, but to the ubiquity of his
image. For instance, see):

http://books.google.com/books?id=-WW7AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA88&lpg=PA88&dq=ubiquitous

In fact, in a process already well on its way since the 1920s,
commodity fetishization has permeated virtually every aspect of our
existence, from the rearing of our children to the socialization of
our adolescents to the behavior of adults in and out of the workforce
all the way up to the disposition of our elderly.

I was watching television the other night, and there was a commercial
with an upwardly mobile young woman, smartly dressed,who was walking
through an office plaza carrying a cup of McDonald’s premium coffee
and trailing pixie dust behind her wherever she went.

The ad ended with the tag line “”Mi encanta”.

Which means “I LOVE IT.” (It enchants me….)

In English, the McDonald’s tag line is the slangier, “I’m lovin’ it.”

Dunno about you, but after seeing something like that, I felt like
calling for the sick bag.Thankfully, I’m not alone.

SEE ALSO:
McDonald’s Coffee Ad Sets Feminism Back 30 Years
By Erin Zimmer
http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/09/in-videos-mcdonalds-coffee-mccafe-ad-feminists-women-upset.html

J’ever notice, by the way, that in English the slogan was “An Army of
One”–but in Spanish that slogan was “Yo Soy El Army”–“I am the
Army”?

Truly–God is in the details.

10. FLETCHER HANKS
I don’t know much about Fletcher Hanks. Nobody does. But there has
been a sudden explosion of interest in this mostly-forgotten comic
book artist, the bulk of whose work was published in the
early-to-mid-1940s.

There were two of his stories published in the recent anthology
“Supermen”, and one story reprinted in 2004’s Art Out of Time. (That
latter collection was the first, to my knowledge, to ever reprint a
sample of Hanks’ work in full.)

I believe, however, that he was long known among aficionados.His
bizarre skull-faced jungle-girl creation Fantomah was, in fact, first
mentioned in such works as Jerry Bails’ The Collector’s Guide: The
First Heroic Age (Detroit, Mich: J. Bails, 1969); in Lupoff and
Thompson’s All In Color For a Dime (1970); in Steranko’s History of
Comics Volume One (Supergraphics 1970); and in Ron Goulart’s The Comic
Book Reader’s Companion, an A-to-Z Guide to Everyone’s Favorite Art
Form (HarperPerennial, 1993).

Now, of course, there are also the two new Fantagraphic collections,
which purport to be complete.

For info about obscure graphic artists, I always consult Lambiek’s Comiclopedia.
And my old buddy’s Don Markstein’s excellent Toonopedia site:
http://www.toonopedia.com/

Sure enough:
http://www.toonopedia.com/fantomah.htm

Needless to say, there’s lots of info here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fletcher_Hanks

See FANTOMAH:

http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics5.html  


Comic Vine also has something on him:
http://www.comicvine.com/fletcher-hanks/26-56582/

11. JAY DISBROW
I read about the forthcoming second Fletcher Hanks collection in “Supermen.”

About 25 years ago a similarly bizarre artist was (very briefly)
revived. His name was Jay Disbrow.
His work appeared, among other places, in Unsane #15 (“Frank Bunk:
Bring ‘Em Back Dead Or Alive”).

IMAGE:
http://www.comics.org/coverview.lasso?id=11378&zoom=4
http://www.comics.org/details.lasso?id=11378

See his web-only comic “Aroc of Zenith”:http://www.marvelfamily.com/aroc/aroc.asp?ep=1  

SOURCE:
http://www.marvelfamily.com/aroc/archive.asp

12. SLANG & STREET LANGUAGE
http://www.urbandictionary.com
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/browse/p
http://www.slanguage.com/
http://www.englishdaily626.com/slang.php
http://www.manythings.org/slang/
http://www.esl-lab.com/slang/slangrd2.htm
http://www.schandlbooks.com/AmericanSlang.html
http://www.alphadictionary.com/slang/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A128143
http://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Am…n/dp/006270107X

Australian Slang
http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

British Slang
http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

American Ghetto Slang
http://www.mrwiggles.biz/ghetto_slang.htm

GLOSSARY OF SEX WORKER ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS (NSFW)
http://forums.vr-zone.com/chit-chatting/382802-some-useful-facts-fyi.html

THE INFORMATION #1052 JULY 5, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1052  

JULY 5, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com


One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.–Plato


WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-NINE: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE  


“I suppose,”said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent, “that you scoff, and well you might, Mawny, at my sage advice, but I guess I owe you an explanation as to how I came by some of it. First off, just in case you haven’t noticed, I’m actually a couple of years older than the rest of the boys. When I was about twelve, I got kicked pretty bad by a horse, and was crippled and bedridden for almost two whole years. Gave me a lot of time to think. Doctors couldn’t figure out why I was sick. Some kind of brain fever, they figured. One said, “He’ll get well when he wants to get well.” Guess I finally did want to, at that. I still have a strong aversion to athletics, though, in case you didn’t know. And horseback riding, or anything to do with horses. But I’m resigned to my fate. Me, I’m just a fat man. And do you know what they say? They say that it’s bad luck to make a fat man cry.

“The only way I kept my sanity during those two agonizing years was by intensive study. Pater sought to keep my books away from me, but I kicked up such a ruckus that he finally let the poor sickly invalid have his way. In the evenings, when there was no good light to read by, I would open up the heating vent and listen to Pater and his cronies making jaw-jaw in the parlor. I learned a lot about politics that way. And business. And life in general. Notably, the ways of a man with a maid. Many of Pater’s bosom companions were confirmed bachelors, and it would make your ears turn beet red to hear them spiel about  the foibles of womenfolk. I suppose you’re too young to worry about all that. Or maybe not. Anyway, they said that women are all very well and good in their place–when they’re confined to the home. Her job is overseeing the servants–the nursemaid and the nanny and the governess and the cook and the gardener and such, while the man’s job is to go out and get the money and oversee the doings in the livery stable–that’s just the way things are, and that’s just the way they ought to be. Because women are physically weaker than men, but in all ways they are morally superior. Good women, that is. Mothers, and mothers-to-be. They’re the angel of the home. And home is a warm refuge away from the mean old world, and all its drafts and storms. The silly woman may prattle about all the inconsequential details of her trivial day–but after a hard day of getting and spending, that sound can be music to the ears of any well-bred and housebroken man. 

“And, make no mistake about it– men do need to be housebroken–just like a dog–everyone agrees. It won’t do to have him come into the house roaring drunk and pissing in the fireplace in front of the kiddies. Heaven forfend! A woman may be an angel, but your typical man is little removed from the brute. Which is why he needs the music of a womanly voice to charm him, and soothe him, and lure him back to the hearth when he’s bein’ led astray by evil companions and suchlike. 

“The men in the parlor were also under the apprehension–false, I believe, though what do I know, really–that no really good woman ever truly enjoys the carnal act. You know–making the beast with two backs, as Shakespeare so aptly put it. That’s why a young man, in spite of anything Lord Chesterfield might have to say about the topic, or, for that matter, any real man has got to keep a twitchet on the side, as you country folk say. With that sentiment I most heartily agree. Wifey tends to overstep her bounds from time to time. Little stunts like her going into a sulk when she doesn’t get her way, and turning on the waterworks, and starting in with all the nagging and hectoring. Small wonder that a man who can’t afford a mistress turns to drink. He might encounter some riff-raff and get into a barroom scuffle or three, or some sot may even knife him, as happened to poor old Augustine St. Clair, but nobody can say he’s being henpecked. For men of a higher order, of course, there’s the private club, with brandy and cigars and comfortable, high-toned company. And, of course, and the hotel room, where he can maintain a kept women, as in the seraglios of old. 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong–a wife is nice. If you can keep her. A high-toned woman is an elevating influence on any well-brought-up man and his kiddies. 

“Now, it seems as though when the men would get around to talking talk politics, as they nearly always did, it always just so happened that the fella they supported was solid gold, and the other fella as was running against him was a bum. Even though there usually wasn’t a dime’s worth of difference between ’em. Both candidates supported the flag, and mother love, and the right of a business man to make as much money as he damn well pleased. Of course, a good politician never lets on that he hates the other fella like rat poison. No, it’s always, ‘my distinguished colleague.’ Never ‘that no-good louse-ridden scoundrel who’s trying to take my job away, damn his eyes.’ And a good politician, like any well-bred gent, never lets on to anybody that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’ll always say that he’s ‘considered’ the issue, or ‘taken the matter under study,’ without giving you any particular insight as to what way he might of happened to decide. Of course, if he’s caught in an outright inconsistency, he’ll say that he has ‘reconsidered’ the issue–always after ‘much reflection.’ And if he’s asked about something that he don’t want to answer, well, then, he might up and say, ‘I have a problem with the premise of your question.’ Of course, some sharp politicians manage to flip-flop around in the same sentence, as when one of them said, ‘We need greater liberty for our people, and more law and order so they’ll feel safe.’ I wasn’t far wrong, I think, when I said that politics is just like a three-ring circus–only the legerdemain is with words, and seldom with deeds. I think that’s a game that I’d like to play–once I graduate college. What do you think, Mawny?”

“Why,” said William Batchelder Tallent, “I think you’d be a good one. The best. Even if we don’t agree on a lot of things.”

“Well,” said Glen, “Your views may change. I don’t think mine ever will. You’ve got a level head, in spite of what they say, and you have too much self-respect to deny what’s right in front of your face once you find out for yourself what’s really real–and what is simply a pleasant illusion.” 

1* SALUTATION
FUNKADELIC

FUNKY DOLLAR BILL

https://youtu.be/CfVSqQ7FcDY

HIT IT AND QUIT IT
https://youtu.be/EBXU2t4hodo

LOOSE BOOTY
https://youtu.be/mIDfp2c8BLk

2*REFERENCE

DEFAMILIARIZATION

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamiliarization  

3*HUMOR

SAMUEL JOHNSON

As witty badinage, most modern examples pale beside what the learned Dr. Johnson allegedly said to some interlopers while he was enjoying a river cruise:

“Sir, your wife, under pretense of keeping a bawdy-house, is a receiver of stolen goods.”
http://www.sobran.com/columns/2002/020718.shtml 

ALSO SEE:
https://www.brainyquote.com/lists/authors/top_10_samuel_johnson_quotes


4*NOVELTY

FORGOTTEN MID-CENTURY GIRL COMICS

https://flashbak.com/10-long-forgotten-mid-century-girl-comics-377398/


5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
CHRISTIAN EPHEMERA FROM THE 20TH CENTURY

https://flashbak.com/jaw-dropping-christian-ephemera-from-the-20th-century-51651/  


6* DAILY UTILITY

SCOPE COMMERCIALS

https://youtu.be/8-o7H5bJ86Q
https://youtu.be/98B7Rc4knao

7*CARTOON
JACK JACKSON

“Nits make lice”.
bronzeageofblogs.blogspot.com/2016/02/comanche-moon.html


8*PRESCRIPTION

Contra Hipsterism: Eleven Guidelines
1) Fascination is subjective. Nobody is interested in the bike with a cool banana seat you used to own when you were eight years old.
2) Fame is not vicarious. Having a cousin who knows a lot of famous people does not make you famous.
3) Creativity is the highest human goal. Origination is good. Regurgitation creates a stench which never goes away.
4) Mass media is mostly a stained-glass window for imbeciles.
5) All fashion is merely protective coloration.
6) You cannot know very much unless you know history. You cannot know history until you actually study history. A lot of history. Owning an Abraham Lincoln bobblehead does not make you a civil war expert.
7) Talking face to face to actual human beings is far more important than owning things. (Well–most things.)
8) Your knowledge is nearly always merely a more sophisticated form of ignorance.
9) Free your thinking. There is nothing beautiful about a caged animal.

10) All fashion is merely protective coloration.
11) Before you condemn anybody, look deep into your own heart.   


9* RUMOR PATROL
WHY WE CALL PARROTS “POLLY”

http://mentalfloss.com/article/55350/why-do-we-call-parrots-polly

10*LAGNIAPPE
ZZ TOP

LA GRANGE

https://youtu.be/Vppbdf-qtGU

COMMENTS:
WELL SMART PEOPLE HOW DO YOU TOP THIS. JUST LOVE THESE GUYS.

I played this to my cat and now I have a lion

I played this song on my pet lizard. I now own a dragon.

This song is so American that my earphones are shooting in the air like guns

This Makes Me Want To Go Riding Down The Sunset In A Harley.

Once the drums come on in the beginning, I lose my shit and floor my Chevy like I’m running from the cops!! Good shit

This song is great to listen to while you get elected as sheriff and fire all the corrupt policement and stop one of them later and demolish his truck.

if they play this song in a bar ANYWHERE, there IS a .38revolver or a .357Magnum SOMEWHERE, in that room. one, at the very least. so mind your manners…

i found this song by literally typing in “ahaw haw haw haw” on google    

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

PERFECT ALBUM SIDES

BOB DYLAN
Side two of Bringing It All Back Home
Side one of Highway 61 Revisited.
Side two of Blonde on Blonde.
Side one of Blood on the Tracks.

THE ROLLING STONES
Side two of Beggars Banquet
Side two of Let It Bleed
Side one of Sticky Fingers
Side two of Exile on Main Street  

THE KINKS 
Side one of Face to Face.
Side two of Something Else.
Side two of Village Green.
Side two of Arthur.
Side one of Lola vs. Powerman.
Side two of The Great Lost Kinks Album.  

*11A BOOKS READ AND RATED

THE ADVENTURES OF ALEXANDER VON HUMBOLDT. WULF & MELCHER. *****

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 3. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT. ***1/2

AMERICAN GODS 2. MY AINSEL. ****1/2

AMERICAN OVERDOSE. MCGREAL. ****

AMERICAN PRISON. BAUER. ****1/2

APOCALYPSE TACO. HALE. **1/2

AQUAMAN/SUICIDE SQUAD. SINK ATLANTIS! ***1/2

BAD AT ADULTING, GOOD AT FEMINISM. GEERTS. ***

BAD FRIENDS. ANCCO. ****

BATGIRL 5. ART OF THE CRIME. ****

BE-BOP BARBARIANS. PHILLIPS & BARRY. ***1/2

BEASTS OF BURDEN: WISE DOGS & ELDRITCH MEN. ***1/2

BLACK BADGE 1. KINDT & JENKINS. ****

BLACK MAGICK. RUCKA & SCOTT. ****

BLACK PANTHER: KILLMONGER. BY ANY MEANS. ***1/2

BLACKBIRD 1/ THE GREAT BEAST. **1/2

BLUES FOR LADY DAY. PARISI. ****

BRAT. DEFORGE. ****

CANNABIS. BROWN. ****

CATWOMAN 1. COPYCATS. ***1/2

CODA 1. SPURRIER & BERGADA. ***1/2

COLORBLIND. HARRIS. ***1/2

THE COMMON SCENTS OF SMELL. ERB. ****

CREDO. BAGGE. ****1/2

CROWDED 1. SABELA, STEIN & GRANT. ****1/2

DECADES: HUMAN TORCH VS. SUB-MARINER. **1/2

DOMINO 2. SOLDIER OF FORTUNE. ***1/2

ENDGAMES. XU. ***

EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES. WILSON. ****

EXILES 2. TRIAL OF THE EXILES. ***

FAMILY MAN. CHARYN & STATON. ****

FANTASTIC FOUR 1. FOUREVER. ***1/2

FAULT LINES. KRUSE & ZELIZER. ****

THE FIFTH RISK. LEWIS. ****1/2

FIREFLY 1. THE UNIFICATION WAR 1. ***1/2

GENDER QUEER. KOBAB. ***1/2

GOOD TALK. JACOB. ****

HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 6. 1936-36. ****1/2

HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 7. 1936-38. *****

HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 7. 1938-40. *****


HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 12. 1945-47. ****

HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 13. 1947-48. ****

HAROLD GRAY’S LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE VOLUME 14. 1948-50. ****


THE HIGH COST OF DYING. CRANDALL. ****

I WAS THEIR AMERICAN DREAM. GHARIB. ***1/2

IMMORTAL HULK 2. THE GREEN DOOR. ****

IS THIS HOW YOU SEE ME? HERNANDEZ. ****

JUSTICE LEAGUE 2. GRAVEYARD OF GODS. ****

KISS NUMBER 8. VENABLE & CRENSHAW. ****

LEAVING RICHARD’S VALLEY. DEFORGE. ****

LIKEWAR. SINGER & BROOKING. ****1/2

LITTLE GIRLS. AFLLEJE & DELAINE. ***1/2

LIVEWIRE 1. FUGITIVE. **1/2

MOTH & WHISPER. 1. THE KID. ***1/2

MR. & MRS. X 1. LOVE & MARRIAGE. ***1/2

THE NEW WORLD. KOT & MOORE. ****

OBLIVION 2. KIRKMAN. ***1/2

ONE-PUNCH MAN. 16. ****

PARADOX GIRL 1. **

PTSD. SINGELIN. ****

A QUICK & EASY GUIDE TO QUEER & TRANS IDENTITIES. ***1/2

RUN FOR IT. D’SALETE. ****

RUNAWAYS 3. THAT WAS YESTERDAY. ***

SHE COULD FLY. CANTWELL. ***1/2

SHURI 1. THE SEARCH FOR BLACK PANTHER. ***

SLEEPLESS 2. VAUGHN & DEL DUCA. ***1/2

STRANGER THINGS: THE OTHER SIDE. **1/2

SUPERMAN ACTION COMICS 1. INVISIBLE MAFIA. BENDIS. ****

TEAM OF VIPERS. SIMS. ***1/2

TEEN TITANS 1. FULL THROTTLE. ****

UNDER THE MOON: A CATWOMAN TALE. MYRACLE. ***1/2

VAMPIRONICA. **1/2

THE WEATHERMAN. LEHEUP & FOX. ****

WHY DON’T YOU WRITE MY ELEGY NOW SO I CAN CORRECT IT? MARX & CHAST. ****

WILD WEATHER. REED & HILL. ****

X-MEN BLACK. ****

X-MEN RED 2. WAGING PEACE. ****

YOU CAN READ ANYONE. LIEBERMAN. ***1/2


12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE

PINK FLOYD

I’ve been ploughing my way through The Floyd, as their fans call them.

“Echoes,” side two of Meddle, is OK, but I don’t feel a profound need to listen to it more than twice.

But maybe the third time’s the charm.

“Wish You Were Here” is their shining moment. Everything from there is all downhill. 

The Wall is just a load of old bollocks. I thought so when it came out and nothing has happened to change my mind.And The Final Cut is hysterical crybaby rubbish.

THE INFORMATION #1051 JUNE 28, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1051  

JUNE 28, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” 
― Albert Einstein  

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-EIGHT: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE  


“Tell me, Mawny,” said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent, “out in the big stick country, have you ever witnessed a murder? Or run into any crooks?”
Mawny had, in fact, seen one ritual slaughter as the culmination of feud among back-countrymen, not to mention the lynch mob which formed the evening after his kidnapping, consisting of the Tallents and the Pattents and the Millers and the Batchelders, who joined forces to murder the Keysar clan and drive the rest of them to seek refuge far away. 


However, rather than issue an outright denial, he decided to tell a story.

“Mostly, to tell you the truth, Glen, all I ever see back home is criminal stupidity. Say, now, that reminds me–here’s a cute little yarn I recently caught wind of. Once upon a time there was a boy in my town–a big, oafish, lumbering country bumpkin, name of Zebulon Roush. His folks died when he was only sixteen, and so he went and moved in with his Auntie Rose Turner Roush and his Uncle Pittman Roush. Well, the Auntie in particular soon grew sore at him, because he could neither read ner write and his kinfolk were trifling people who never sent him to school and never taught him any parlor manners. Pretty soon, the Uncle got tired of Auntie’s nagging, not to mention his pocketbook was also sufferin’ on account of young Zeb eatin’ everything in sight, and also on account of Zeb being kinda thick and bone-ignorant to boot, having never strayed more than about five miles from their little hamlet. So his uncle bought him a one-way ticket on a slow steamboat to New Orleans,  and told him it was high time for him to go to the big city to make his fortune. He suggested that Zeb might find gainful employ as a plongeur in a restaurant somewheres, because he figured that even the dumbest cluck could learn how to wash dishes. 


“Now, even in the 1870s, they had a great many swell restaurants in New Orleans; the only trouble was, they was all staffed by colored persons. White folks considered such work beneath them. This was true even in the fancy French eateries there, where you could get the best froggie grub this side of gay Paree. But, finally, old Zeb goes to a chop-house to have his dinner only to discover that, when it comes time to pay, he didn’t have any money. I suppose you gather that there were and are a great many pickpockets in the Crescent City. Well, the owner, he feels sorry for Zeb, and puts him to work washing dishes for his grub. Seein’ how Zeb is a hard worker, the owner has a brainstorm, and the next thing you know, he decides to try him on as a waiter. 

“Well, his first day on the job, an old Southern gentleman comes into the joint with his elderly wife. She’s dressed in a pink court dress that was last fashionable in 1835. She’s a mild old biddy, and clearly mad about her hubby, even though he’s a sawed-off runt with long white mustachios. He’s dressed to the nines, in the high fashion of his day, in an old frock coat and a collarless vest, with a starched white shirt and a string tie, and he’s wearin’ a beaver top hat. Well, Zeb–he don’t know no better–he was so jittery at having to serve what he fancies were such fine folks–virtual royalty, to his untaught eyes–that he trips himself up and spills a glass of water all over the old gent, who is an irascible sort of feller. Well, the old man sputters and fumes over the outrage, and raises up his cane and demands an apology. And do you know what the big greenhorn did? Why, he busted out in tears, even though he was twice the size of the old gent and could of snapped him in half like a matchstick. And while he’s standing there blubbering, the old Biddy turns to her hubby and says, “Why, Cecil–you’ve frightened the poor boy half to death!” Well, the old man is secretly pleased that his bluster has had such a terrific effect, so he hems and haws and reaches into his pocket and gives old Zeb a silver dollar.


“All of a sudden, Zeb has a brainstorm! He races off and grabs a pitcher of ice-cold water and comes back and dumps it right on the old man’s had, and shouts, “By cracky! Now, I’m gwine to make FIVE dollars!”

 
Glen Phillips laughed immoderately, and then took up an earlier thread of their conversation.


“Speaking of crooks, another way people like you manage to make their name in the journalism racket is the crime beat. All those years copying down and punching up the police blotter can pay off big if there’s a particularly juicy and lurid murder to make much of. And, by the way, all murders are ‘lurid’. It’s practically a journalistic convention! The crime beat is the best for an ambitious young reporter. All those years copying down the police blotter can pay off big if there’s a particularly bloody murder to make much of. 


“Stories about murder will always be popular. In ancient Rome, they used to do you in with poison. Dr. Palmer used the same sort of technique, though with different results. Dr. Pritchard over in England, likewise. Dr. Rulloff was another rogue quack. They got his brain on display–they say it’s the second largest known!  Though it’s not doing him much good now.


“Today we’re so much more civilized in our slaughter–we employ the garotte, the knife, and the pistolto do our dirty work. Actually, there’s something faintly comic about the whole enterprise of murder. I’m not saying that because I’m a monster. It’s just a part of man’s great participation in nature red in tooth and claw. Like when Laura Fair shot that two-timing Crittenden. Hell hath no fury, you know. Or when Dr. Rulloff went on his killing spree. 

“I’m telling you this because I can see, Mawny, that no matter how much I warn you not to become a reporter, you are probably going to go and do the exact opposite, just to prove you can.  Just remember that most people in the game do themselves in through an excess of bad habits. It’s almost as though, having seen so much at such an impressionable age, they don’t know how to get out of their own way. 

“Which is always a recipe for spectacular failure. “

1* SALUTATION

JOHN LEE HOOKER

THE JOURNEY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yFNHEWICRQ  


2*REFERENCE

STUPIDITY “Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice. One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself the germ of its own subversion in that it leaves behind in human beings at least a sense of unease. Against stupidity we are defenseless. Neither protests nor the use of force accomplish anything here; reasons fall on deaf ears; facts that contradict one’s prejudgment simply need not be believed – in such moments the stupid person even becomes critical – and when facts are irrefutable they are just pushed aside as inconsequential, as incidental. In all this the stupid person, in contrast to the malicious one, is utterly self satisfied and, being easily irritated, becomes dangerous by going on the attack. For that reason, greater caution is called for when dealing with a stupid person than with a malicious one. Never again will we try to persuade the stupid person with reasons, for it is senseless and dangerous.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison  

No wonder he was writing that from prison!

3*HUMOR

OLD FASHIONED AMERICAN HUMOR
https://www.oldfashionedamericanhumor.com/humor-collections-from-the-attic-of-america.html


4*NOVELTY

33 BEST INDUSTRIAL ALBUMS
pitchfork.com/features/lists-and-guides/the-33-best-industrial-albums-of-all-time/?page=1  

ALSO SEE:

NOISE BAND ARCHIVES
archive.org/details/noise-arch?&sort=-downloads

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

THE UNTOLD ORIGIN OF THE RICH FAMILY RICHES
http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics22.html  

6* DAILY UTILITY

LIBRARY TOP 500 NOVELShttps://www.oclc.org/en/worldcat/library100/top500.html  

7*CARTOON
DR. SPOCK’S BABY AND CHILD CARE
https://scontent.fnyc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/59938219_2797080823699547_1695242068680507392_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_ht=scontent.fnyc1-1.fna&oh=65c0241d4706b5dbb5116a3d520afe10&oe=5D55F579


8*PRESCRIPTION

ULTRA-PROCESSED FOODS
https://gizmodo.com/a-new-diet-study-confirms-your-worst-suspicions-about-u-1834818556  

 
9* RUMOR PATROL
THE DEATH OF JOHN LENNON

“Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about that; I know I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now. I don’t know which will go first – rock & roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/More_popular_than_Jesus 

The Pope issued a lovely response:
The outcry reached all the way to the Pope, who denounced Lennon’s words in a statement to the Vatican newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano: “Some subjects must not be dealt with profanely, even in the world of Beatniks.”  
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/when-john-lennons-more-popular-than-jesus-controversy-turned-ugly-106430/   

But the Vatican forgave him, in time.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-vatican-beatles/vatican-forgives-john-lennon-for-jesus-quip-idUSTRE4AL2E220081122 

Some say Lennon was murdered by the CIA. The doorman who witnessed the shooting was a paid contract killer. 

Jose Perdomo had a secret; it was a secret that not many know. Perdomo used to
punch a CIA meal ticket. His full name was Jose Joaquin Sanjenis Perdomo. Perdomo was also known as “Joaquin Sanjenis,” and “Sam Jenis.” He was an anti-Castro Cuban exile who was a member of Brigade 2506. The brigade eventually joined Alpha 66 during the Bay of Pigs Invasion in 1961. Chapman said that he heard someone whisper do it, do it, do it. Was it Perdomo? The Doorman at the Dakota once worked with Jim Sturgis the Watergate Burglar and another member of a death squad called Operation 40 that was involved with the Bay of Pigs and may have been responsible for the death of John F. Kennedy. In fact Perdomo and Chapman discussed the Bay of Pigs Invasion and JFK’s assassination a few hours before Lennon was killed. The doorman for the
longest time had been misidentified as Jay Hastings. No one knew about Perdomo until 1987. 
https://www.groundzeromedia.org/revelation-9-the-murder-of-john-lennon/

Read all about it.
https://www.amazon.com/Conspirators-Hierarchy-Committee-300/dp/0963401947
https://www.worldcat.org/title/conspirators-hierarchy-the-committee-of-300/oclc/843197530&referer=brief_results  


10*LAGNIAPPE
PUNK

STIFF LITTLE FINGERS

ALTERNATIVE ULSTER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLo7z50Tt2g 

ALSO SEE:
THE JAM
THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSGC0-EU6dw   

SEE ALSO:
SWELL MAPS
FULL MOON IN MY POCKET
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngVY50Jut7o  

ALSO SEE:
PUNKS! TOPICALITY AND THE 1950s GANGSTER BIO-PIC CYCLE
https://kar.kent.ac.uk/26190/1/Stanfield_Punks.pdf  


11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

MR. WISDOM
To curry favor with the baseball loving and lonely Senator Russell, Johnson suddenly began attending night baseball games and invited both Russell and Sam Rayburn to eat at his home on Sundays (one for lunch, the other for dinner). He made an art of sweet talking the old bulls who ruled the Senate gerontocracy. His nickname for one Senate colleague: Mr. Wisdom.  
https://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/24/books/books-of-the-times-a-soaring-johnson-ruthless-and-crude-but-compassionate.html

“I certainly do miss the counsel of Mr. Wisdom”.
https://books.google.com/books?id=XhZYCidNf8QC&pg=PA160&lpg=PA160&dq=lbj+%22mr.+wisdom%22&source=bl&ots=wwkTVBzanU&sig=ACfU3U2m3t2kR1e-vzeJ99MzV2_RBy5WRA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj4n7-erObiAhWDmVkKHU0ICm0Q6AEwAnoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

LBJ having a wink and a larf with the boys on Air Force One.
http://www.patspeer.com/chapter-21-things-that-make-me-say-hmmm  

He would be a good candidate for the Mordred of JFK’s Camelot, I think.

James Shelby Downard says the Masons done it. No mention of LBJ as Mordred.:
https://www.revisionisthistory.org/kingkill33.html

Jackie’s “long-time companion” was Maurice Templeman, a “wealthy jeweler.”  

Her previous beau, Aristotle Onassis, had whale-skin covers on the seats of his yacht. NOW THAT’S CLASS.

Teddy was very fond of coke and girls and booze. As is well known. Also, when he was at the Portsmouth Priory boarding school, upper-formers killed his pet turtle. 

Why do I know these things? 

A friend of mine claims that as a child, he accidentally snuffed out The Eternal Flame at JFK’s gravesite. 

Also: LBJ really wanted to fuck Jackie. You just know it. 
https://nationalpost.com/opinion/the-most-vulgar-american-president-ever-it-sure-as-isnt-donald-trump


12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE

THE DULUTH CARNY LYNCHINGS OF 1920

https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/duluth-lynchings-1920/  

THE INFORMATION #1050 JUNE 21, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1050  
JUNE 21, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com


Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.–Emerson


WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-SEVEN: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE  


“You should know, Mawny,” said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent, “that there’s an old saying among editors: Those who can’t write, report. Put a writer in an empty white room, and he’ll create a whole world outside of the room. Put a reporter in an empty white room, and he’ll describe an empty white room. If he’s a great reporter, maybe he’ll write an editorial on ‘The Tragedy of the Empty White Room.’ By the way, the editorials tend to be the best part of the newspaper–only, nobody bothers to heed them. Just like Cassandra! Haw! 


“Listen: no matter how great a reporter you might eventually become, you should know well that certain people have held the whip-hand from time immemorial. And they sure ain’t about to let hold of the old cat o’ nine for any arriviste reporter snoop who fancies himself as some sort of hawkshaw, dedicated to righting wrongs. If you’re going to persist in acting like that–like a a child–they’re going to treat you like a child. Better you should become a shyster lawyer–that’s a profession that the Big Boys respect, as much as they’ll hate you. They can make you into their tool, you see. A pimp for the Imperium, as it were.


“Before you go off half-cocked and start into crusading against all the plutocrats, you should ask yourself–what if you were in their shoes and some ass came around and started nit-picking everything you did? Someone who had no actual power over you? Someone who, for that matter, nearly everyone despises? Why, I think you would simply ignore him. And, if he persisted, you would set one of your boys to dig up some dirt on ‘im. In the unlikely event this approach failed–because, let’s face it, nearly everyone has some dirty little secret–why, they’d just throw so much money at ‘im that the pest would simply go away. But let’s say that this plan also fails to pan out. I can’t see how–but let’s just suppose. Why, I suppose the the next logical step would be to work to get the fella fired. Should be easy enough. Chum up to his boss. Better still, set the old rumor mill rolling, and then there’s hardly any crime you can’t accuse the poor chump of committing.  He’ll be hoist on his own petard, as it were. Of course, just to play fair, you could tell him that it will all go away…if he simply learns to play ball. The exhortatory subjunctive, I call it. As in, ‘Nice job you got there–be a shame if anything were to happen to it.’ 

“The culture of the newsroom is debilitating. The news boys think that their curiosity distinguishes them from the commonplace people they are so fond of looking down upon from what they fancy is their lofty perch. Curiosity? Hah! Monkeys can do as much! It’s what you do with your heard-earned knowledge that makes a difference. Don’t tell me you believe in all that airy poppycock you read in books. I’ll guarantee you that not one of those so-called men of letters has the sense to pound sand in a rat hole. In this life, no ink-stained drudge ever changed a blessed thing. It’s business, Mawny. Business. That’s where great things are happening. It’s a sad fact, though, that most businessmen are men of action, and have no imagination, except for new ways to squeeze out another dollar. 

“But I’ll be a different kind of reporter, you say. You think you’re going to beaver it out and compile a body of work that future generations will treasure up. Phaw! You’re nothing more than a dust mote, Mawny. An ant. An insignificant speck–at least, to the people who really matter. The ones who rule the world. No, it’s not the Jews. No matter what the Monks may tell you. Jews are too smart to want to run this sorry world. For that matter, so are the Jesuits. No, it’s the bent ones. The ones who are twisted up inside. The ones who have fooled themselves into thinking that they are as gods. Of course, a real God, supposing one exists, would laugh until he puked at the presumption of these arrogant fleas. But still…even fleas can bite.

“I can see from the way you act–always in opposition!–that you’re determined to forge your own path, Mawny. I can see that, and I admire you for it, even though I consider it the height of tom-foolishness to go through life causing trouble–burning bridges and airing dirty laundry and digging up skeletons–and thinking you can do it all alone. Connections are key. Consider–what options are there for a young man with few if any connections? 

“You could always go into teaching. That has always been the default plan for bright young men and women of high character and mediocre breeding. Teachers are happy, they say. Sure they are. Devote your life, why don’t you, to instructing mewling cubs who would rather be doing anything in the world other than looking at your shouting face. And spending all your time devising new ways of telling surly children what to do. And never once questioning whether you’re merely a stern taskmaster who operates solely at the whim of the powers that be. Perhaps someday you’ll work your way up to college professor. You can swap wry jests in an oak-paneled room with your deracinated ‘colleagues’, and swallow more lies and Sherry than any human living was ever meant to do. Or–you could be a churchman of some sort. But that’s even worse. Spinning fables for profit. Presiding over lost souls? More like listening to old busybodies complain about how children these days have no respect, and listening to hunched-over old men as they squawk about their lumbago. Even a lazy reporter would blanch at doing that for too very long.

“So–you’re a Southerner. Go into the army, instead. They will make you into a man. Or, rather, they will make of you what they want you to be. Their creature. Blindly obedient. Be compliant enough, and maybe someday you’ll rise to become a celebrated General. President of the whole damn United States, even. It’s been known to happen. More likely, though, you’ll be wiped clean in your mind, wounded in your body, and crippled in your soul. And then you’ll be fit only to drudge away the rest of your old age–a mere pawn. You can lean plenty of skills in the army, sure. How to be a policeman, for a dead cert. And when you retire, you can get a watch and become a night watchman and doze the rest of your short life away. 


“Or–here’s a hot one. You can be a lawyer. Study ponderous books, like any astigmatic scholar, and then enter a practice and drown yourself in paperwork. And end up by being miserable and hating your job. You know, I’ve never met a lawyer who knew how to have fun. Most of them end their lives wishing they had done almost anything else. Maybe you’ll end up being well off. But at what cost? Better to study accountancy. Less is expected of you, and maybe you’ll seize the main chance and become a millionaire through perspicacity and sharp practice. 

“But, however you end up,  Mawny, you’ll always be drawn like a fly to molasses to the Holy Trinity. Wife, children, and a mortgage on a house. And a job of some sort to pay for them all. You’ll be another Atlas, with an entire small world placed squarely on your inadequate shoulders. Alas, no Hercules will be standing by to ease your burden. You’ll be a veritable Sisyphus. Only you’ll be digging a ditch in the morning, and filling it back up again at night. Every day and every night. Until you croak. 


“Well…there’s one thing you can always say about working for a living–unlike the lives of men, there’s never any end to it all.”I think you mentioned to me that your Daddy’s got a weakness for strong drink? Then you’d better leave off the booze. Another reason not to get into the reporter game. Every one I ever met is a no-good bitter-tongued two-fisted drunkard. Some of them even think they can’t work if they haven’t been lushing it up. Just like politicians. And crooks. They all have to nerve themselves with hooch to perform do their awful deeds. I’m talking about things that any normal man would quail at even contemplating.Lying. Cheating. Stealing. Covering up the truth. Kicking the props out from under the little guy. Blackmail, murder…and worse. Much, much worse.”


1* SALUTATION

STEVIE WONDER

TOO HIGH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8dK0iEzi1M

ALSO SEE:GRANT HART
THE MAIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp-6JP2-DSM  

DAVE VAN RONK

WILLIE THE WEEPER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnepH9t1skg  

SEE ALSO:
CAB CALLOWAY
THE REEFER MAN
https://youtu.be/svoSSdsNhtA

THE INK SPOTSTHAT CAT IS HIGH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCMxGHEm_6I  

BESSIE SMITH
GIMME A PIGFOOT AND A BOTTLE OF BEER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbQEapPrjGM  


LIL JOHNSON

MELLOW STUFF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1SzgDusMX8&list=PL71A0811383234B17&index=12 

 
MR. SUNSHINE

MARIJUANA, THE DEVIL’S FLOWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFcUto0xje0&list=PL71A0811383234B17&index=2  


ARKEY BLUE

TOO MANY PILLS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pobh9HI-jpY&list=PL71A0811383234B17&index=4  


PHIL PHILLIPS

THE EVIL DOPE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIfaYswjzYo&list=PL71A0811383234B17&index=11  


ALSO SEE:

PEANUT BUTTER CONSPIRACY

WHY DID I GET SO HIGH?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAH0zaShnwE

THE ROLLING STONES

SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yxJiuWJmE4  

2*REFERENCE

AMERICAN OVERDOSE AUTHOR MCGREAL  ON THE OPIOID CRISIS

chipts.ucla.edu/features/the-american-opioid-crisis-a-discussion-with-chris-mcgreal-author-of-american-overdose/
www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/-american-overdose-tells-the-tale-of-us-opioid-crisis-1417696835699


ALSO SEE:

U.S. ARMY HEROIN COMIC BOOK

www.ep.tc/problems/57/  

SEE ALSO:

HARM REDUCTION COMIC 

https://www.streetsheet.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/harmreduxprmini_forprint-1024×799.jpg

ALSO SEE:

MARY WORTH CONFRONTS THE OPIOID CRISIS

https://joshreads.com/images/16/07/i160723maryworth.jpg 

3*HUMOR

NATIONAL LAMPOON (ARTICLE IN THE NEW JOURNAL NO. 2)

https://issuu.com/thenewjournal/docs/yyg15_n44_v08_i02  


ALSO SEE:My father gave me a 1940 book titled 10,000 jokes, toasts, and stories, by Copeland. One of my uncles had picked it up at a sale. No profanity or blasphemy. But plenty of good, old-fashioned racist, sexist, and ethnic humor. Good clean fun.

Diner: Waiter, how was this steak cooked?
Waiter: Smothered in onions, sir.
Diner: Well, it died hard.


4*NOVELTY

MOST PROLIFIC COMIC STRIP ARTISTS

What comic strip artists has been the most prolific producer of strips in the last century?


Among artists of the United States in the 20th Century, that would possibly be Will Eisner, comic book pioneer and also said to be the father of the modern graphic novel.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Eisner  

Or perhaps Al Capp.

Alfred Gerald Caplin (September 28, 1909 – November 5, 1979), better known as Al Capp, was an American cartoonist and humorist best known for the satirical comic strip Li’l Abner, which he created in 1934 and continued writing and (with help from assistants) drawing until 1977. He also wrote the comic strips Abbie an’ Slats (in the years 1937–45) and Long Sam (1954).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Capp  

Chester Gould and Harold Grey also had long runs with their respective strips.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chester_Gould  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Gray  

As did Charles Schulz.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_M._Schulz  

And George Herriman.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Herriman  

Mention should also be made of Milt Caniff and Roy Crane.

Milton Caniff 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton_Caniff  

Roy Crane
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Crane  

It is quite possible that Osamu Tezuka outdid them all.
Buddha, Vol. 1: Kapilavastu: Osamu Tezuka: 9781932234565: Amazon.com: Books
https://www.amazon.com/Buddha-Vol-Kapilavastu-Osamu-Tezuka/dp/193223456X  

It is no coincidence, I suppose, that along with Elzie Segar, Frank King, Walt Kelly, and Cliff Sterrett, those are some of my favorite comic strip artists.

E. C. Segar
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._C._Segar 
 
Frank King 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_King_(cartoonist)  

Walt Kelly
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Kelly  

Cliff Sterrett
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cliff_Sterrett

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
RESTORATIVE RUCKUS

https://digboston.com/special-feature-restorative-ruckus/


6* DAILY UTILITY

PRINCE NICO MBRAGA

MY MAMA

https://youtu.be/3mecNrIaWOA

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/his-biggest-hit-sold-more-copies-than-any-of-the-beatles-so-why-haven-t-you-heard-of-him?utm_source=pocket-newtab


7*CARTOON
 HAW HAW HAW

http://images.tcj.com/2016/08/Ahern12-19280616.jpg
https://dimenno.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/38572-roomandboardgeneahernjune201943screwballfishstory.jpg
http://www.comicsreporter.com/images/uploads/eccentric_thumb.jpeg
http://2.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com/92/63/5034e0b935c854b650de94eb213d2285.jpg
https://crap.jinwicked.com/comics/2004-06-26.jpg
https://media.springernature.com/original/springer-static/image/chp%3A10.1007%2F978-3-319-93085-5_4/MediaObjects/459259_1_En_4_Fig5_HTML.png
https://storage.googleapis.com/hipcomic/p/5ba028c850a03914c939aea3aa2165bf.jpg
http://www.comicbookfx.com/images/156-14.jpg
https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_large/12/124613/3132071-1.jpg
http://www.comicbookfx.com/images/217-13.jpg
https://herbiepopnecker.com/examples/says-yuk-yuk/16a-04.jpg
http://www.comicbookfx.com/images/39-9.jpg
https://box00.comicbookplus.com/viewer/c2/c25db1d6b1e96ed6b3ae952fa6aa1b7e/0.jpg
http://canadasowncomics.com/wp-content/uploads/Pages-from-wow26ww.jpg
http://www.comicbookfx.com/images/162-2.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/21/92/61/219261625c505a6b85c6a642719bf18d.png
https://dyn1.heritagestatic.com/lf?set=path%5B1%2F5%2F6%2F0%2F7%2F15607743%5D%2Csizedata%5B850x600%5D&call=url%5Bfile%3Aproduct.chain%5D
https://herbiepopnecker.com/examples/says-haw-haw/15a-04.jpg
http://foo.ca/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/WYD06.jpeg

CHICK TRACTS

https://www.chick.com/images/tracts/0024/0024_12.gif
https://www.chick.com/images/tracts/0001/0001_12.gif
http://www.boolean-union.com/Chick/WoundChild/Images/0045_04.gif
https://www.chick.com/images/tracts/0053/0053_11.gif
https://aaronkcollett.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/0097_08.gif?w=680
https://i.imgur.com/ftdzQCs.jpg
https://www.chick.com/images/tracts/0003/0003_05.gif
http://images.tcj.com/2011/11/ChickMama.gif
https://twentyfiveforty.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/0009_21.gif?w=362&h=187

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/d43b3b7d-947f-4731-8f72-4da30cdaa7b1/dv4nln-50034c23-882b-4ed5-8ef2-6fa4c726f889.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2Q0M2IzYjdkLTk0N2YtNDczMS04ZjcyLTRkYTMwY2RhYTdiMVwvZHY0bmxuLTUwMDM0YzIzLTg4MmItNGVkNS04ZWYyLTZmYTRjNzI2Zjg4OS5qcGcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.dGMNxHhPdkm0LzAAy100QSKx_ECvk6jQSwINLhcc7dY 

VIDEO: HAW HAW HAW HAW

https://youtu.be/E2BGsqtY1o0

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED:

IVAN BRUNETTI

HAW!

https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1175454485l/515860.jpg

8*PRESCRIPTION

Here are three good, all-purpose replies I’ve learned.

1) dass alri’, dass alright. (Good for panhandlers.)
2) God bless you. (Even better: God bless your day. Hand gesture optional.)
3) I feel so sorry for you. (With an exactly modulated tone of voice, this one works very well.)  

ALSO SEE:THE NINE CANONICAL RESPONSES TO U MAD

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2015/12/nine-canonical-responses-to-u-mad.html  

9* RUMOR PATROL

THE FIFTH RISK
www.amazon.com/Fifth-Risk-Michael-Lewis/dp/1324002646/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=CjwKCAjw5pPnBRBJEiwAULZKvl6ga7oS4zwG2sBQioWuDwDr4FGgnoSViKtpVVSjUmMrsYvvdpmZCRoC4EUQAvD_BwE&hvadid=283084655472&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9002244&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=15362504611395712343&hvtargid=kwd-468932338725&hydadcr=21873_10169656&keywords=the+fifth+risk&qid=1558525697&s=gateway&sr=8-1 

ALSO SEE:

LikeWar

https://www.amazon.com/LikeWar-Weaponization-P-W-Singer/dp/1328695743  

SEE ALSO:

BASED ON A TRUE STORY
Biopics nearly always take quite a few liberties. So do TV documentaries. I never place much credence in such sources. It kinda burns me up when I hear somebody say that they know something for a fact because “I saw it on the History Channel.” Which Spy Magazine once, rather puckishly, referred to as “The Hitler Channel.” It smacks of a grade-schooler’s logic that “TV is my friend…and my friend wouldn’t lie to me.”

I have found these books, though dated, to be full of excellent techniques for detecting Things That Just Ain’t So: 
https://archive.org/details/extraordinarypop00mack_1
https://archive.org/details/ponzischemesinva00bulg
https://archive.org/details/B-001-001-707
https://archive.org/details/spoorofspooks00evan
https://archive.org/…/questforcertaint029410mbp_djvu.txt
https://archive.org/details/prevalenceofnons00mont  

10*LAGNIAPPE

THE EMPEROR

I’M NORMAL

https://youtu.be/OutOEXHcn_k

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

 ASK LIEUTENANT RICK: ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN COP

Dear Rick:
Why do chicks get all upset when you throw shit at
their head?–Sarge

Dear Sarge:
I dunno. Sensitive, I guess. Buy her some chocolate
candy and let her stuff her pie-hole.

Dear Lieutenant:
My wife won’t sleep with me when I rub myself with
bacon fat to keep the chiggers off. What’ll I do?–Reb

Dear Reb:
Women are kinda nutty, ain’t they? Give her a bottle
of perfumey water. Frails dig that kinda foo-foo crap.

Dear Officer Rick:
I was babysitting the kid and let him play with a hand
grenade. Sure, he pulled the pin, but turns out the
pineapple was a dud. Now the wife says I’m
irresponsible and she wants a divorce. What’s she
bellyachin’ about?–Dutch

Dear Dutch:
Dames–who can figger ‘em? Bring home a dozen roses.
Maybe that’ll shut her trap.

Hey, Looie:
The wife wants an expensive wristwatch for Christmas
but I’m broke.What should I tell her?–Slim

Dear Slim:
Wristwatch, hell! Tell her there’s a clock on the
%#?&*! stove.    


12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE

INTERNET POLITICAL DEBATE METHODOLOGIES

The burger king school of rhetoric. 
Creeping meatballism. 
Matchbook college logic. 
Ice cream socialism.  
Armchair totalitarianism. 
Cremora-style authenticity. 
Maculate scalded dog surdity. 
Fraidy-cat O’Fear reticence. 

TYPICAL INTERNET PRONOUNCEMENTS, TRANSLATED
My opinion is the only opinion. And those who call me l’il fascist will be defenestrated. 

I long to suppress your ideas because I’m an American and you’re a terrorist nyah nyah nyah and everything you write is a thoughtcrime because it personally disturbs me because it is written using words of more than half a syllable and cats are bad and mice are good and I’m going to kill mommy’s cats and bring all the mice into the house. 

People I do not like are actually unpeople who must be disappeared down the memory hole because I have necrotising fascismus. 

I pretend to be a super-liberal, but people I disagree with ought to be exiled.  

THE INFORMATION #1049 JUNE 14, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1049  
JUNE 14, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

Every country gets the circus it deserves.–Erica Jong

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-SIX: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE    

“Now, you know, Mawny,” said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent, “all this truck I been feeding you about newspapermen ain’t mush–it comes straight from the horse’s mouth–that of my own Paterfamilias. He says the average reader of most newspapers ain’t hardly much brighter than your average twelve-year-old schoolboy, and that’s why they are written at a sixth-grade level. I wouldn’t know anything about that. But I do know that if you are determined to enter the newspaper game, there are only two beats worth covering. I learned this the hard way. I asked the old man to give me an assignment, and he figured I was only fit for the entertainment beat. So he told me to cover the big Whosamacallit Circus out of Duluth. Well, there’s not much hard work in covering a circus, because a circus–well, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all. And, if you’ve read one news item about the circus, you’ve also read them all. No wonder! The story practically writes itself. 

“Clowns are invariably jovial, and always travel in a ‘cavalcade’. The minstrel show is always ‘amusing’. Lion tamers are always described as courageous, and everybody knows that they must never let the animals smell fear. Strongmen are massive, and always display ‘feats of incredible strength,’ The strong man usually falls in love with the cute trapeze artiste, who is, always, “direct from Europe,” where she performed for all the ‘crowned heads’. His rival for her affections is the freak show midget, who is cheeky and has a sharp tongue and he usually smokes a big smelly cigar so you won’t mistake him for a small boy. The freaks, of course, are always said to be ‘some of the most decent people you’ll ever meet’. Despite their grotesque appearance, they are inwardly beautiful people with good souls, and because the world scorns their kind, they tend to stick together. The freak show is not for the weak or the faint of heart–absolutely no women and children allowed! ‘And if that don’t fetch ’em then I don’t know Arkansaw!’ Like I said, the story practically writes itself. The Romance of the big top; the wonder in a small boy’s face; the twinkle in the eye of the oldest codger; even grumpy businessmen find joy in the circus; come one, come all; the big top; the greatest in showmanship; the greatest show on earth;  it’s all a part of the act;  working at the circus gets into your blood; et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam infinitum. 

“And yet behind the scenes the circus is one of the most hideously debased institutions you’ll ever see. The place is a seething cauldron of iniquity. Circus people are some of the rowdiest and most unscrupulous people on the face of the planet. Take the population of your typical low dive and multiply it by about twenty, and you’ll have an idea of what I mean. The Bowery b’hoys and g’hals have nothing on the circus. Nearly all the female performers get knocked up and have to drop out and go home to Mama. The ringmaster is almost always a drunk. The knife thrower is cool calm and collected, but don’t get him riled up, or you might come to a bad end. I needn’t remind you that those knives are real, and they’re always very, very sharp. Animal stunts are cute, but animal trainer, though he acts nice, and professes to love animals, is secretly a brute, and always mistreats them, even though they provide him with a good livelihood. The elephant trainer is generally an inscrutable Indian feller, and is usually up to no good. He uses the bull hook whenever the elephant gets rowdy, and even when he don’t, just so Jumbo will know who’s boss. The poor elephant lives in perpetual misery, so it’s small wonder that he never forgets, and will maul a fella that gave him a bad peanut in Cincinnati, even though it happened twenty years ago. By the way, did you ever know why you never see camels, elephants, and horses in the same circus ring? It’s because elephants hate the smell of camels, and horses hate the smell of elephants. 


“Mawny, I tell you that the circus is a nest of intrigue, even behind the less-than-wholesome facade. The dog-faced boy is a heel. He’s secretly in love with the contortionist, who will not return his affections, as he has a mad pash for the strongman. Nearly every single one of the clairvoyants are obvious fakes. All of the so-called magic tricks really are done with mirrors. The magician can guess which card you picked because the deck you draw from as fifty-two copies of the same card. 


“Let’s face it–the circus is a veritable hotbed of unwholesomeness. The geek is a dipsomaniac. He is the veteran of many a hard-fought bottle, you might say. He loves cheap rotgut far more than he loves swallowing chewing tobacco and biting the heads off of snakes and chickens. I can assure you of that. And, like as not, the fire breather has a chin that’s been half melted-off from using contaminated lamp oil. The chimpanzees are so crazy they play handball with their own shit. And the jolly clowns are mostly either broken-down circus has-beens or convicts on the lam–a perfect disguise, by the way! Some of them have a sneaking fondness for small boys, which I’m sure you don’t want to hear about, and nearly all of them are addicted to laudanum. And the circus tent is a firetrap. If you ever smell smoke, run away as fast as you can! Forget about an orderly retreat! Make a mad dash for the nearest exit! And, by the way, don’t eat any of the food. You never know which one of the cooks has Tuberculosis. 


“Anyway, like I said, there are only two beats worth covering in the newspaper game, and one of them is politics. Of course, politics in this country ain’t much different from a dingy tank-town circus. The Democratic Party in particular–forgive me in advance for pointing this out–the Democratic party has been a caravanserai run by cunning ward-heelers and outright criminals. It’s been that way ever since the end of the Civil War, and well before it. As a matter of fact, covering, say, a Democratic political convention is very much like covering a circus. Only, in politics, the ringmaster is usually some sort of high muckety-muck political sachem, and you have to kiss his ring as he has got plenty of dirt on all the clowns and freaks who populate his demesne. 

1* SALUTATION

DARLENE LOVE

LONG WAY TO BE HAPPY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co2rtEYizBE  


WENDY WALDMAN

MAD MAD ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxtAzpqF0AI  


2*REFERENCE

EDGAR ALLEN POE

Poe was a fine storyteller; revolutionary in his day. But “Young Goodman Brown” is scarier than anything Poe wrote. An American Tragedy is more heartrending. Invisible Man is more compelling.

http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Texts/younggoodmanbrown.html 
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/331319.An_American_Tragedy
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16981.Invisible_Man  


3*HUMORTHE HIPTIONARY (1963)

https://www.amazon.com/Hiptionary-Hipsters-View-World-Scene/dp/B0007EKAQS  

4*NOVELTY

The 11 Most Embarrassing Best-Selling Albums Of All Time

http://www.businessinsider.com/embarrassing-best-selling-albums-2013-7


5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
GREAT HEADLINES 

TV presenter Bob Wilson’s son-in-law was killed by corned beef sandwich NOT sea urchin

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352764/TV-presenter-Bob-Wilsons-son-law-killed-corned-beef-sandwich-NOT-sea-urchin.html  

ANOTHER GREAT HEADLINE

Providence police looking for ‘Buddha’ after cigarette dispute leads to an assault at Kennedy Plaza

https://www.providencejournal.com/news/20160729/providence-police-looking-for-buddha-after-cigarette-dispute-leads-to-assault-at-kennedy-plaza  

6* DAILY UTILITY

HOW TO SCARE OLD WHITE PEOPLE

Tell them that the rising generation consists mainly of self-mutilating and narcissistic nitwits.  
https://www.npr.org/2016/07/12/485087469/me-me-me-the-rise-of-narcissism-in-the-age-of-the-selfie   


7*CARTOON

THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW

SINGING DOG CONTEST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eg-myT7PDE  

8*PRESCRIPTION

POWERFUL TIPS FROM SELF-HELP BOOKS

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-most-powerful-tip-youve-gained-from-reading-a-self-help-book  


9* RUMOR PATROL

FALSE CONFESSIONS

http://www.innocenceproject.org/causes/false-confessions-admissions/

10*LAGNIAPPE

R.I.P. Roky Erickson: 10 Essential Tracks from the Psychedelic Rock Pioneer
https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/8514023/roky-erickson-10-essential-tracks-rip  

SEE ALSO

ROKY ERICKSON, THE MAN WHO MADE AUSTIN WEIRD
https://www.austin360.com/entertainmentlife/20190604/roky-erickson-man-who-made-austin-weird
   

 
ALSO SEE:
American Primitive – Volume 2 – Pre-war Revenants 1897-1939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87cV9rzxEDs&list=PLMvasv8cuWdx9EvYzlapMw4T-iDnxxUHM&index=1 


11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

HOW TO BE A POET

If a person writes lousy poems—and most do—then they are known as a poetaster. Or a dilettante.

If they are capable of writing poems which are good, or even great, they can call themselves poets. Even if they only write one. Only one. Only one.

SEE:CHARLES SIMIC

WHY I STILL WRITE POETRY

https://www.nybooks.com/daily/2012/05/15/why-i-still-write-poetry/  


12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE

9-1-1 WAS AN INSIDE JOB

9-1-1 was an inside job
I heard it from a friend of a friend named Bob
The towers tumbled 
And we was humbled
Al-Quada flier
They caught on fire
You better bet fool
That wasn’t jet fuel
’cause that’s too easy
It doesn’t please me
No, 9-1-1 was an inside job
I heard it from a friend of a friend named Bob  

THE INFORMATION #1048 JUNE 7, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1048  
JUNE 7, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

Nota bene: The next issue of The Information will appear on or before June 6, 2019.

All the cunning of the devil is exercised in trying to tear us away from the word.–Martin Luther 

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-FIVE: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE    

The big confrontation between Cokey Stolas and Doc Ketman was not long
in coming, in spite of Ketman’s best efforts to head it off. I recall
that to avoid Stolas, he would even stay away from his usual
haunts–the Old John Raines Motel; The Glass Bar, and the Jefferson
Club. He never suspected that Stolas would find him in the one low
dive where you’d least expect to see a man of his stature.

The confrontation took place in that hellhole of sin, The Seven Stars
Saloon. I did not witness the event but was told of it later.

Coeky Stolas came dressed for bear, in a ceremonial kilt, a black
domino mask, and wearing a blood red wooden dagger.

Ketman was caught flat-footed, with only a slouch hat to cover his red
hair, a shabby mantle over his hunched shoulders, and weeping wrinkles
on his chin marring his hangdog countenance.

Stolas began by sidling up to the bar next to Ketman and saying,
“Peter Ketman–I hear you’ve been cursing my name all over town.”

“Hwat? And who told ye that? Thy familiars?”

“Never mind,” says Stolas. “Have you been using my name?”

“I have used not thy true name, Stolas, though if ye want me to, I shall.”

“Well, I’ll not be giving ye the chance. I’m calling you out. Peter
Ketman, great battles and disputes befall ye, and may gangrenous
wounds beset ye.”

Ketman replied, “Christ’s cross and Christ’s crown, Christ Jesus’
colored blood, be thou every hour good.”

Stolas said, “I call upon the first king of Hell. Head of toad, head
of man, and head of cat afflict ye.”

Ketman said “God, the Father, is before me; God, the Son, is beside
me; God, the Holy Ghost, is behind me.”

Stolas said, “Lord of Hell, lead us unto the straight path.”

Ketman said “Whoever now is stronger than these three persons may
come, by day or night, to attack me.”

Stolas tore off his mask and hissed. He looked Ketman straight in the
eyes, which Ketman screwed shut to avoid his gaze. But every second
man in the Saloon was strangely affected. They came crowding up to
Ketman as if to do him harm: Philo Marbas, the liquor-store
proprietor; Nathaniel Bune the petty clerk, and even “Foxy” Zepar the
local ward-heeler, Ketman feebly murmured “Old Stolas–Dullix, ix, ux.”
Over and over. But still more men came crowding round Ketman. Young
Elsworth Agares. How now? What was he doing there? He was accompanied
by young ‘Bathless’ Bathin, the son of the ward-heeler of far-off
Gleason’s Corner. What was he doing there? What were any of them doing
there? The fat Italian slumlord Nehemiah Vassago, his eyes glazed,
stumbled into Ketman and demanded an apology, which would have
necessitated opening his eyes and falling under the spell of Stolas,
and it looked extremely dire for old Doc. Stolas pressed his
advantage, and incanted the following: “Praise be to me glorified is
my ability. Elevated is my sublimity, Here I am the King of the
Earth.” Ketman, as it were, was up against the ropes. But suddenly he
opened his eyes, looked away from both Vassago and Stolas, and crossed
himself. Then, shaking from head to foot, he recited the following
spell:

“Flaming dragon, fly from me. Bearded pharaoh, crumble into dust.
Circling sharks, attack each the other. Monkey’s paw catch fire, and
tiger with bloody paws, slink away. Keep your hand on that Gospel Plow
and Moloch, came not near. The fires of hell. How can the fires of
hell afflict me? For yonder stands my savior, and to him I must resign.”

Ketman paused, theatrically, drew his cloak about him so it all but
covered his face, and intoned:

“An antient curse? How can an ancient curse afflict me in the sight of
my Lord God Almighty? No antient curse be stranger than He. How can
that be stranger than the Awful Lord of Melchizidek?  There is no
antient curse, for ab aeterno ab abusu ad usum non valet consequentia.
There is no wicked way to entrap me–straight and narrow is the path,
and by this mantle I wear, shapen as it is already, Ye shall shield me
from he who hath one time or at any time done amiss. Accipiunt leges,
populus quibus legibus ex lex. I cannot be bound by those who make the
law that man shall break the law.  By the iron and the silver of the
cross I wear around my neck at all times, repel the host of the evil
one. Who shall speak ill of the cross that bore our savior? May the
demon who thinks ill of it be afflicted by His own continuous evil.
Curses in general do not touch me. Since time began. I bless thee and
those who follow the sign of my mantel through God and the laws of
heaven. Why should an owl, an ass, a jackal affright me in the sign of
the lamb, the turtle, the fish? May the cuckold wizard and all his
wild boars remove themselves back to hell in a long line and may that
line be straight and true, for it hast nae been known that God shall
not know His ane and look after them in times of travail. May ten
thousand sunsets pass, and for all that time may all under my
protection find surcease. If what I say be so may I walk alone and
unfraid from this conclave. Amen.”

The air smelled of rust and iron and blood. The crowd parted before
Ketman, who wrapped his cloak around both his body and his head. Yet
Stolas had the last word. He loudly called out,

“Be it so. You may pass. But also let ten thousand sunsets pass before
you again set foot on this ground, for thou art banished in my sight
and the sight of all here present, and if you should return then slain
you surely shall be, in the sign of Forneus and Foras and of Asmodeus,
under the signs of the bull, the man, the ram, and the serpent.  May
you aye ne’er set foot on this newly unhallowed ground until the
passage of the time which we both have spoken. A fronte
praecipitium…a tergo lupi! Aeternum vale!”

And he laughed a booming hollow laugh and his unnatural eyes glittered
like black marbles in a strong light and the infernal laughter of
hordes of drunken men accompanied his now hacking coughing
fit–brought on by his excessive own merriment, as well as no doubt by
the black smoke which filled the room from the stopped-up chimney.

Did it really happen that way? Ketman assured me that it had. He also
insisted that he had to leave town that very following day, before the
setting of the sun. He walked about in a dreamlike state, gathering
all his chattels. Just as he was about to depart, he told me the
following:

“If I were you, I wouldn’t be staying too long in these precincts,
Yob. It simply ain’t safe. Let me tell you this: there’s no future in
going up against the Big Man. I was able to win the battle, but he won
the war. I let down my guard, and he found a way to twist my words and
so he banished me for 27 years and four months. Let me tell you what
happens if I return. I would probably be thrown in jail and left there
to rot. But that’s not the least of it. Those with whom I have had any
intercourse whatsoever would also be cursed. I could stand the gaff on
my own head of steam, but I can’t have the innocent suffer due to my
actions, for that would be a sin before God and I would risk the loss
of my immortal soul. So I must leave all of you for a long long time.
And if you were smart, you would get out of here too, as soon as you
can. And never fear. Mutantur omnia nos et mutamur in illis.”

He sadly handed me his cloak.

“Take this, for what little protection it may bring. “Where I’m
going.”  he added, as he gave me a mournful wink, “I’ll not be needing
it.”

Where is that? I wanted to ask, but I already knew that–unless I
accompanied him–I would probably never see him again.

1* SALUTATION
ELTON JOHN

NO SHOE STRINGS ON LOUISE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efnBmqXjrTU&list=PL14F56997E8F60EBC&index=4  


ALSO SEE:

THE ROLLING STONES

DEAR DOCTOR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8Ci47X96H0  


2*REFERENCE

MORON, IDIOT, IMBECILE

Calling somebody a low grade moron is bad. It’s considered offensive among the higher grade of morons.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history


As for the word “retard,” I prefer to say “Retardo”. The cute little “o” kind of takes the edge off.  

ALSO SEE:

THE ORIGINS OF THE INSULT DOUCHEBAG

According to this article, it started out as military slang and crossed over into college slang, circa 1968. I first heard it used in 1971.
slate.com/news-and-politics/2012/03/matt-taibbi-called-andrew-breitbart-a-douche-when-did-that-become-an-insult.html


SEE ALSO:

THE MONKEY MASK ROBBERIES

https://www.wpri.com/news/local-news/providence/providence-police-armed-robbery-suspect-wore-monkey-mask/2013790780  

3*HUMOR

BILLY BRITAIN
www.flickr.com/photos/stillunusual/13678047445  

4*NOVELTY

ART

All art is patriarchal bullshit.
i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/gygmkj/fighting-patriarchal-bullshit-and-capitalist-misogyny-in-the-art-world  


5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

CBD AS OPIATE CURE

Old Doc Humes prescribed hashish and massage for heroin addiction. Back in 1980! 
https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/21/health/heroin-opioid-addiction-cbd-study/index.html


6* DAILY UTILITY

EXTENDED WARRANTIES ARE FOR SUCKERS 

“Extended warranties are a really horrible set of mathematics, and the reason people sell them is because they make a bundle on them in commissions,” says Dave Ramsey, a personal finance expert and radio-show host who has been outspoken on the subject. “On average, you’ll pay about $1,500 on an extended warranty, and the average repair is $180. I don’t recommend buying extended warranties, ever. If you can’t afford a $200 repair on a car, then you can’t afford the car.”
www.consumerreports.org/car-repair/get-an-extended-warranty-for-your-car/  
 
7*CARTOON

THE FUTURE: 2011-2200

https://youtu.be/syKJP1lnjQA

8*PRESCRIPTION

DORIS DAY

“I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”–Oscar Levant
www.brainyquote.com/authors/oscar_levant

9* RUMOR PATROL

TRAIN RUNNING SLOW ON SOUL COAL

XTC singer Andy Partridge has been accused of anti-Semitic tweets following an exchange about Middle East politics.
www.clashmusic.com/news/xtcs-andy-partridge-accused-of-anti-semitic-tweets


10*LAGNIAPPE

BOB DYLAN & PETE SEEGER

YE PLAYBOYS & PLAYGIRLS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btbQcASWy_4  

ALSO SEE:
THE MINUTEMEN
BOB DYLAN WROTE PROPAGANDA SONGS 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qBky_xkcIQ  

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

MY PENIS (TO THE TUNE OF “CANDIDA”)

The stars won’t come out if they know that you’re about
Cause they couldn’t match the glow of your eye
And, oh, who am I ? Just an ordinary guy
Tryin hard to win me first prize
Oh my Penis
We could make it together
The further from here now the better
Where the air is fresh and clean
Oh my Penis
I’ll take my hand and I’ll lead ya
I promise that life will be sweeter
‘Cause it said so in my dreams
The future looks bright, the gypsy told me so last night
Said she saw my semen glowing in the sunshine
And there were you and I in a house, baby, no lie
And all these things were yours, and they were mine
Oh my Penis
We could make it together
The further from here girl the better
Where the air is fresh and clean
Oh my Penis
I’ll take my hand and I’ll lead ya
I promise that life will be sweeter
‘Cause it said so in my dreams
Oh my Penis
We could make it together
The further from here now the better
Where the air is fresh and clean
Oh my Penis
I’ll take my hand and I’ll lead ya
I promise that life will be sweeter
‘Cause it said so in my dreams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WROdwlk9_h8  


12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE

MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS
In 1966 John Lennon said the following: 

“Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about that; I know I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now. I don’t know which will go first – rock & roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/More_popular_than_Jesus 

The Pope issued a lovely response:
The outcry reached all the way to the Pope, who denounced Lennon’s words in a statement to the Vatican newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano: “Some subjects must not be dealt with profanely, even in the world of Beatniks.”  
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/when-john-lennons-more-popular-than-jesus-controversy-turned-ugly-106430/   

But the Vatican forgave him, in time.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-vatican-beatles/vatican-forgives-john-lennon-for-jesus-quip-idUSTRE4AL2E220081122 

You may recall that I was very angry at Paul Rosenberg when, after Lennon was shot, he rather tactlessly remarked that it was probably the “bigger than Jesus” talk that done him in.

I was angry because I suspected that it might be true.

But some say it was the CIA. The doorman who witnessed the shooting was a paid contract killer. 

Jose Perdomo had a secret; it was a secret that not many know. Perdomo used to
punch a CIA meal ticket. His full name was Jose Joaquin Sanjenis Perdomo. Perdomo was also known as “Joaquin Sanjenis,” and “Sam Jenis.” He was an anti-Castro Cuban exile who was a member of Brigade 2506. The brigade eventually joined Alpha 66 during the Bay of Pigs Invasion in 1961. Chapman said that he heard someone whisper do it, do it, do it. Was it Perdomo? The Doorman at the Dakota once worked with Jim Sturgis the Watergate Burglar and another member of a death squad called Operation 40 that was involved with the Bay of Pigs and may have been responsible for the death of John F. Kennedy. In fact Perdomo and Chapman discussed the Bay of Pigs Invasion and JFK’s assassination a few hours before Lennon was killed. The doorman for the
longest time had been misidentified as Jay Hastings. No one knew about Perdomo until 1987. https://www.groundzeromedia.org/revelation-9-the-murder-of-john-lennon/

Read all about it.
https://www.amazon.com/Conspirators-Hierarchy-Committee-300/dp/0963401947
https://www.worldcat.org/title/conspirators-hierarchy-the-committee-of-300/oclc/843197530&referer=brief_results