THE INFORMATION #1045 MAY 17, 2019

THE INFORMATION #1045  
MAY 17, 2019
Copyright 2019 FRANCIS DIMENNO
dimenno@gmail.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

All through history, there have always been people who got in the way.–William Remington

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART SIXTY-TWO: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE    

“I’ll tell you something else, Mawny,” said Glen Phillips to William Batchelder Tallent, “about newspapermen. First and foremost, they are some of the most spiteful prima donnas alive. Almost as bad as actors. Especially the ones who fancy themselves gay dogs. Getting the story is their primary motive. Once they do that, they care not who writes the nation’s laws. Their nauseating obsession with ‘scoops’ is surely one of the most degrading characteristics of that benighted bunch. The most eminent of that motley crew are completely without morals and blindly aggressive–a dangerous combination, wouldn’t you say? Most of them wouldn’t hesitate to run over their own grandmothers for a front page byline. And they’ll gloss over every extenuating circumstance and run only the most spectacularly condemnatory information to gain that end. They’re always in a hurry to rush SOMETHING into print. And they never check their stories. Conclusions first; confirmation later, if at all. 
“Why, when it comes to cutting corners, these reporters have the businessmen and even the politicians beat all hollow! If they want to ruin a man, they have over a dozen ways to do it. One is to assume that every public figure has one and only one distinguishing characteristic. And they’ll run that into the ground, usually by assigning the great man whom they wish to tear down some sort of belittling nickname, like ‘Curly’ for a bald man, or ‘Slim’ for a fat fellow. In their hands, every simple barroom brawl becomes a three-alarm donnybrook. The only people they ever talk to on a regular basis are others like them, so they assume that the whole world is as cynical as they are. They sneer at sentiment and despise weakness. They are Spartans, and they hate the Athenians. What they call their sense of humor often devolves into mere mockery. But they will never, ever criticize anybody who is in a position to do them some good. That is why they have no fixed political beliefs, other than a vague notion that they should be able to say whatever they please, as it says so in the first amendment. 


“Who do they attack? Why, it really all depends on whose ox is to be gored that day. The edict will come from on high: ‘Puff Cleveland. Blast Blaine.’ Or vice versa, depending on where the money is, and whether the publisher is a Democrat or a Republican. So the newspaper boys will always preach to the choir. Always. And they’ll fawn to win the favor of the sorts of caddish readers who ought to be roundly ignored, if not horsewhipped at high noon in the town square. I wish I had a quarter for every scoundrel who was praised to the skies, and a dollar for every good man who was brought down by low slanders. I would have a cool million, and in short order, too. 


“Reporters are obsessed with brutal and garish murders. As are we all. Which they well know. You ask them why don’t they report on some of the good that people manage to do in this fallen world, and, to a man, they will answer that there’s no story there. They know everything that happened today, very little about recent history, unless it suits their purpose, and nothing at all about anything that happened before they were born. They dote on the eminent and wealthy and despise the great mass of people as mere ciphers. Which, of course, is why the long practice of journalism is the worst kind of training for an aspiring Tolstoy. This is not to say that some reporters don’t manage to transcend their background. But most of them have never cultivated a long view, nor do they care to. They would rather report on a five-alarm fire than cover the hundreds of lynchings that take place down south every year, or expose the degree to which the money power rules this land. Serious discourse? They leave that for their bosses, the big-money men, to determine what is and what is not ‘serious’ and worthy of sustained attention. Small wonder that egalitarianism gets short shrift, and the law of the jungle is praised to the skies. And when it comes to choosing between writing about something that is geared to the minds of the stupes and selecting a topic which would engage the attention of thoughtful men, why, they will write the stupid story every single time. Too much cogitation, you see, might cut into their drinking time. For they are all infamous lushers. They drink to forget. They have to, in order to live with themselves. So please, Mawny, tell me that you aren’t going to set yourself up as a newspaperman. Better to be a poet, and starve to death in a garret. Or, for that matter, a piano-player in a whorehouse.


“Of course, if you do manage to set yourself up in the newspaper game, after covering the police blotter for several years, you might get to become a critic. You can know two tunes, and one of them ain’t ‘Yankee Doodle,’ and set yourself up as a music critic. Or you can see ‘Ten Nights in a Bar-Room,’ once, and write five hundred words of balderdash, and nab yourself a cushy job as a drama critic. Or, if you know how to skim through a damned thick book and get the gist of it, you can be a book-reviewer. Only don’t try to be a sportswriter unless you know all the rules of all those foolish games inside and out. The other fellows will eat you alive. They don’t much care for greenhorns forcing their way into their racket. “No newspaperman is any better than he has to be. In fact, there’s no difference between him, the crooks whose exploits he documents, or the crooked cops and informants from whom he gets the bulk of his flaming hot poop. No, if you want to go into the newspaper racket, a publisher is what you want to be. But you won’t be able to do that unless you have a boatload of money. 


“Marry rich, Mawny, marry rich–that’s the only remedy for it.”


1* SALUTATION
HOLY MODAL ROUNDERS
BAD BOY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmhoSUQdPiE

SKY DIVERS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j73SEtRBL5c&feature=youtu.be&t=41   

THE IWW SONG
https://youtu.be/pbt7VKYs6Z0?t=67

2*REFERENCE
THE GROSSNESS OF MCDONALD’S
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSrv5L07fhs  

3*HUMOR
RIGHT-WING RADIO DUCK
https://youtu.be/HfuwNU0jsk0

4*NOVELTY
ICONIC PLAYBOY COVERS
https://www.thedailybeast.com/60-years-of-playboy-the-most-iconic-playboy-covers-from-marilyn-monroe-to-kim-kardashian

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
THAT’S NOT FUNNY
documentarylovers.com/film/thats-not-funny/

6* DAILY UTILITY
 A good mechanic is worth his weight in gold.
https://dr-hermes.livejournal.com/312533.html
A dishonest mechanic (such as you will find at most dealerships) is lower than bilge scum. 
 
7*CARTOON
THE SHAME OF FAT-SHAMING
envisioningtheamericandream.com/2016/10/03/the-shame-of-fat-shaming/  

8*PRESCRIPTION
HALLUCINOGENS AND THE BRAIN
Sorry, folks. Don’t mean to be a bummer. I was a state of mass public health librarian for two years. I went to two research retreats at Salve Regina and a RADAR conference in denver. Soo…I know the type of damage that regular dosing, even microdosing, can do. Message: I care. 

What kind of damage? Short, non-technical answer: Hallucinogens tamper with your selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.

Longer, more technical answer:

“…both serotonergic hallucinogens and NMDA antagonists disrupt information processing within corticostriato-thalamic pathways implicated in the pathogenesis of psychotic disorders.”
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181663/

This can lead to depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorders, particular in individuals with a family history of same.

However:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201806/hallucinogens-and-depression

9* RUMOR PATROL
 IN OTHER NEWS: ONION HEADLINES ARE REAL
www.literallyunbelievable.org  

10*LAGNIAPPE
CUTENESS OVERLOAD
KEITH HARRIS
ORVILLE’S SONG
https://youtu.be/2c8PUVIKgI4

BARBRA STREISAND
I’M FIVE
https://youtu.be/EHHWK1_XN10

BARELY THERE
https://youtu.be/r5XIyKlLThs

11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
THE CURE: ROBERT SMITH SURE HAS GOTTEN FATGROSSEST HITS
I Eat At Subway Song
Meatcook
Three Imaginary Bistros
The Weedy Glutton
Gastric Passion
Jumping Someone Else’s Buffet Line
Three (Meals a Day)
Mmm
(I Eat My Dinner in) Seventeen Seconds
The Roly Poly Hour
Going-Home-to-Eat Time
The Hanging Olive Garden
One Hundred Beers
Salad Dressing Up
The Empty Stomach
In Between Dinners
If Only Tonight We Could Eat
From the Edge of the Deep Green Seafood Buffet
Club Sandwich America
Wild Food Swings
The Last Day of Dinner
The Hungry Guest
Chocolate Sometimes
 Pictures of Food 
 Killing an Arab Buffet  
 Dis Dinner Ration 
 
12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
FUTURE MUSICAL GENRES
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_popular_music_genres  
Kryptonian Gamelan
Janky Thrash
Fat Load Speed Metal
Acid Country
Twelve-stepper Sea Shanties
Cartoon Danger Music
School of Hard Knocks Experimental Noise
Three Hot Bitches and One Fat Girl Pirate Metal
Lowly Russian Serf Music
Jeffin’ Uncle Tom Rap
Work Hard Play Hard Yacht Rock
Muppet Corpse Grinder Shoegaze
Buckin’ Bronco Ghetto House
Warm ‘n’ Fuzzy Grunge
Lesbian Fuck-Buddy Boogie Woogie
Vapecore
Doughface Swing
Psychedelic Hitler Folk
Mugwump Grindcore
Progressive Silence Denial
Blood Diamond Wonkbeat
Classical Surf
Ancient Grains Dubstep
Reactionary New Age
Outlaw Hokum
Jangle Reggae
Wall of Hate
Sissycore
Ruff Tuff Math Rock
Free Jazz Charleston
Christian Dixieland
MAGA Rock en Espanol
Novelty Drone
Juke Joint Space Music
Munchkin Rumba
Third Stream Cha Cha Cha
Big Boy Chords
Stumbo Rock
Granma’s Li’l Devil Screamo a capella
 Toughguy Bubblegum.
Death Metal Klezmer.
Gangsta Balinese
Black Metal Broadway Musical
Field Holler Electronica
Melodic No-wave.
Appalachian Folk/80’s Synth Pop
Gangsta Emo
Progressive Oi!
Expressionist Verite.
Black Nationalist Minstrelsy.
Prog-Hop
Industrial Bluegrass
Hardcore Skiffle
Gangsta Kinks
Humble Metal
Proto-Fascist Psychedelia
‘Eefin jazz
Gentle Ben Thug Rock
Thucidydes Rap
Thurston Howell III Funk Boogie
A Capella Satancore  

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