THE INFORMATION #1013
OCTOBER 5, 2018
Copyright 2018 FRANCIS DIMENNO
A sick thought can devour the body’s flesh more than fever or consumption. ― Guy de Maupassant
WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TWELVE: PART THIRTY: THE EASTERN GATE OF PARADISE
I suppose I could tell you a bit more about “mystical mesmerism’, and how I used it, only the Swami advised me to keep my cards close to my vest when discussing such matters, and you ought to know right now that I do whatever the Swami says to do and I always listen to any advise the Swami cares to give me. In fact, I have always respected my elders. It is the way of the South. You cabn call it ancestor worship, if you like. That is something we have in common with the heathen Chinee. That, and, perhaps, a fondness for Opium. I cannot account for it, however.
Sedulously gaining the favor of your elders is also the easiest and perhaps the quickest means by which a young man with few prospects can make his way in this cruel cold world.
For it is in just that way that a young man can often get one over on his fellows. Simply by attending and patiently listening to the goofy anecdotage of oldsters, duffers, coots, cranks, pensioners, codgers, galoots, greybeards, coffin-dodgers, gaffers,duffers, and dodos–no matter how crabby their demeanor; no matter how eccentric their dress and mode of expression; no matter how out-and-out ugly they are, For you can always profit from being in their presence, as breathing the very air that they breathe will give a younger fella an instinctive gravitas that can come in useful when seeking to rival and even intimidate your betters. Mark my words–it pays to respect the aged. As they once were, so you are. As they are, so shall you someday be.
Don’t let me give you the wrong impression. It wasn’t easy to bend the Strong Boy to my will. This so-called “Mystical mesmerism” wasn’t all just a cake-walk. It was a slow process. At first, I could not simply order the Strong Boy to perform whatever deed came to my mind. I needed to be circumspect. The Swami warned me that there was a price to be paid for every time I used the power. Sure enough, I soon noticed that the air around me became sluggish, and that breathing seemed harder for me. Ugly sores started erupting around my lips. And I could see my heart beating through my right eyeball. So I used the power sparingly, and usually relied on good old-fashioned persuasion to get the Strong Boy to do my bidding.
One thing I wanted very badly to do, however, was to vandalize my old elementary school, where I had spent so many miserable hours being switched by martinets. Only the building had a thick door, and steel bars guarding its windows. Presumably, so no one could break out. As nobody in their right mind would ever want to break into the place. Not even a goof.
I pictured the damage I could cause to the school and to the reputation of its hated principal. He was an enormous fat and bald man with a few fugitive hairs hanging from his egg-shaped brow. He incessantly stumped around the hallways in his chalky, ill-fitting, and unfashionable navy-blue jacket with two fat silver buttons looking for small boys to punish for some imagined infraction–and you always could tell he was coming because he also wheezed and snorted like a resigned hog.
I thought with relish of how, once I gained entry to that hated place, I could rip up all of the school’s detestable old and outdated textbooks. Tear up all the grade records and burn them in the fireplace. Spill ink all over the principal’s office and, in particular, upon his cherished oriental rug. I could leave lewd words and drawings on the blackboard. Most of all, I longed to steal the bell which once had called me to all my classes so early in the AM, day after interminable day, as though I were a trained dog. I planned to to cast that hateful bell upon the fathomless foamy waters of the most tempestuous and storm-tossed ocean; to throw that odious instrument into the most furious river; to cavalierly drop that sinister ringing nuisance down, down, down into the deepest well.
The brick schoolhouse was on a high hill, surrounded by greenery. School was out for the day, and the lowering gray sky was threatening snow. I asked the Strong Boy to bend back the bars of a small basement window set at about the height of my knee, but he proved strangely reluctant. He began to sweat, and to tremble all over, and finally he asked if perhaps we could perform this task another time. I was alarmed at how pale he looked, so I quickly ushered him back to our hotel room.
For the next three days, the Strong Boy lay in his bed, fulsomely sweating, and as weak as a kitten. I nursed him as best I could–fed him broth, laying damp cool cloths on his forehead, opening and then shutting and then opening the window as the whim struck him.
I consulted the Swami, who told me with a sneer of disapproval that I, like most young people, was too impatient. That there were certain rituals that had to be observed, and that I had failed to observe them. He suggested that the very next time I wished for the Strong Boy to do my bidding, I first knock him out with chloral. Then, I was to smear blood on his hands and face and leave large scraps of hog meat laying next to his naked body. When he finally woke, I was to explain that he had fallen into an uncontrollable fit and killed a child by rending it from limb to limb.
However, it turned out that there was no need for such drastic measures to ensure the Strong Boy’s compliance. The fact that I stayed by his side and nursed him back to health was enough to ensure his loyalty for the foreseeable future–and perhaps even forever.
THE ALLEY CATS
PUDDIN’ ‘N’ TAIN
ANNE APPLEBAUM ON QUORA SESSIONS
FIRST APPEARANCE OF ROBIN WILLIAMS ON JOHNNY CARSON, 1981
ROBIN WILLIAMS AND JONATHAN WINTERS ON JOHNNY CARSON, 1991
COBAIN DID NOT PREDICT TRUMP
FAKE FORD PARTYING PHOTOS
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
WHOLE NEW MEANING OF THE WORD PUDDIN’ POP
6* DAILY UTILITY
NEW SCRABBLE WORDS
Some of these 1940s and 1950s “funny-book” panels seem gratuitously nasty.
$32 MILLION AWARDED TO VICTIM OF BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION
9* RUMOR PATROL
WHITE ALBUM BOX SET
I have never met a fan of the band Chicago who wasn’t a stupid lard-ass.
11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
Zappa’s most ardent fans tend to be pimpled sweaty fat loads who tend not to use enough bleach when washing their shit-stained underoos. That’s why I stay very far away from them. I recently had a chance to buy “We’re Only in It for the Money” and “Lumpy Gravy” for 44 cents each…and I did not.
*11A BOOKS READ AND REVIEWED
2021. LOST CHILDREN. BETBEDER & BERVAS. ***1/2
ALL-NEW WOLVERINE 5. ORPHANS OF X. ***
ALL-NEW WOLVERINE 6. OLD WOMAN LAURA. ***1/2
APOLLO. FITCH. ****1/2
THE ARAB OF THE FUTURE 3. SATTOUF. ****1/2
THE BAD MOVIE BIBLE. HILL. ***1/2
BATMAN: THE DOOM THAT CAME TO GOTHAM. ***
BUILDING GREAT SENTENCES. LANDOR. ****
CLOCKWORK LIVES: THE GRAPHIC NOVEL. ****1/2
CLOUD HOTEL. HANSHAW. ***
CLUE. ALLOR & DANIEL. ***
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 8.1942-1944. ****1/2
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 10.. 1945-1946. ****1/2
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 12. 1948-1950. ****1/2
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 15.1953-1954. ****1/2
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 16.1954-1956. ****1/2
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 20. 1961-1962. ****
COMPLETE DICK TRACY. 23. 196601967. ***1/2
CREEPY CRAWLING. MELNICK. ****1/2
DARK DAYS: THE ROAD TO METAL. ***1/2
DARK NIGHTS: METAL. ***1/2
THE DC UNIVERSE BY MIKE MIGNOLA. ***
ENTROPY. COSTAIN. ***1/2
ESTRANGED. ALDRIDGE. ***1/2
EXIT STAGE LEFT: THE SNAGGLEPUSS CHRONICLES. RUSSELL & FEEHAN. ****1/2
THE FAMILY. SANDERS. ****
FENCE. PACAT. ****
FLASH 6. COLD DAY IN HELL. ***
FREEDOM HOSPITAL. SULAIMAN. ****
FROM LONE MOUNTAIN, PORCELLINO. ****
HELLBOY COMPLETE SHORT STORIES VOL. 1. MIGNOLA. ****
IDLE DAYS. DESAULNIERS-BROUSSEAU & LECLERC. ****
ILLEGAL. COLFER. ****
INCREDIBLE HULK 3. WORLD WAR HULKS. **1/2
INHUMANS. ONECE AND FUTURE KINGS. ***
JACK KIRBY 100TH CELEBRATION COLLECTION. ***1/2
JENNY FIN: DOOM MESSIAH. MIGNOLA. ***1/2
KABUL DISCO 1. WILD. ***1/2
THE LONG REACH OF THE SIXTIES. KALMAN. ****
THE LOUDEST VOICE IN THE ROOM. SHERMAN. ****
MAE 1. HA. **
MS. MARVEL 9. TEENAGE WASTELAND. ***1/2
MYSTICK U. ***1/2
THE PHYSIOLOGY OF NEW YORK BOARDING HOUSES. GUNN. ****
SIMPSONS COMICS COLASSAL COMPENDIUM. 6. ***1/2
SKIN & EARTH 1. LIGHTS. ***
SKIN IN THE GAME. TALEB. ****
SON OF HITLER. DEL COL. ***1/2
SPACE BOY 1. MCCRANIE. ****
SPIDER-MAN. MILES MORALES 4. BENDIS. ****
STRANGE FRUIT 1. GILL. ***1/2
STRANGE FRUIT 2. GILL. ***
SUPERBOY & THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES V. 2. ***
UNDERSTANDING THE FUNDAMENTALS OF MUSIC. GREENBERG. ****1/2
VOID TRIP. O’SULLIVAN & KLAUS. ****
WONDER WOMAN BY GEORGE PEREZ. VOLUME 3. ***1/2
YELLOW NEGROES & OTHER IMAGINARY CREATURES. ALGABE. ***1/2
YOUNG FRANCES. LIN. ****
YOUNG RADICALS. MCCARTER. ****
ZODIAC STARFORCE: CRIES OF THE FIRE PRINCE. ***
12* CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
STANDARD EXCUSES FOR FUTURE SUPREME COURT NOMINEES
She asked for it.
She wore provocative clothing.
She is lying. He wouldn’t do that.
Why didn’t she say something before?
It’s a blatant shakedown attempt.
It was a regrettable incident, but he was young then.
This is a completely false allegation.
She’s just an attention-seeking publicity hound.
She’s a little bit nutty and a little bit slutty.
Lots of girls cry rape when they regret sex.
The definition of rape these days is so loose that anyone can make that accusation.
If she was really raped she would have called the police.
Why didn’t she fight back? She must have wanted it.
He is the innocent victim of a blackmailing slut, that’s all.
He is the innocent victim of a partisan witch-hunt, that’s all.
Women cry rape all the time, and usually there’s no proof.
When you think about it, HE is the REAL victim here.
He didn’t do what you said he did, but anyway he stopped doing it.