“It recently occurs to me Yob,” said Count Victor Justin to Cadger Tandy, “that I haven’t visited the Seven Stars Saloon in quite a spell.”
It was about 11pm, and the two of them were walking around the unlit cobblestoned streets of Blowtown, illuminated solely by a pale three-quarter moon and innumerable stars concealed by clouds. In spite of the dim lateness of the hour, the Count feared no robbers; he carried with him not only a gun, but also a stout walking stick with a razor strategically embedded in the tip.
“So tell me–how are the Loochers there still getting along? Is Coughy McFatterson still spreading his cold germs? Is Tipsy Smith still watering the drinks and mopping the glasses with a filthy rag?”
Cadger Tandy informed him that Tipsy Smith no longer bothered washing the beer mugs, so that each had a rime of dried beer froth along the lip.
“Haw haw haw! Is that so? How about Adam O’Day–is he still cutting his shines and capers, with his corny jokes and childish pranks? Is Mayor Lobhar still slumming there, in search of rough trade?”
Cadger Tandy answered in the affirmative on both counts.
“And how about old Musky Dan? Is he still making new friends? Cursing the Nigras and the Hunkies and the Polacks and the Spanish Wops and the Eye-talian Wops? And especially the Chosen People? I swan, that man sees Jews Jews Jews everywhere. Typical superstitious Irishman, him. Always ranting on about how Christ Himself was no Jew; rather, he was one-hundred and five per cent a ‘Hwite Man,’ and if he didn’t speak perfect English, he surely could of.
“It always tickles me pink to hear him ranting about loving Christ and hating the Jews all at the same time–just think of it–a Jewish God whose worshippers persecute the Jews and screw them in the ground every chance they get. The irony is delicious. If you’ll pardon the expression.
“Of course, there’s always the infinitesimal possibility that Musky Dan is right–maybe Jews are everywhere. I don’t really care one way or another. I’ve been injured by many a Jew, sure; but I’ve also been injured by many a gentile.
“Jews–everywhere? I rather doubt it. That’s the kind of fevered talk you hear from people who also see anarchists under every bed; and who are convinced that McKinley was laid on his bier as a result of some vast mysterious conspiracy; and that the San Francisco earthquake was actually engineered by the Army and the Navy to drive up the price of real estate.
“Nay–if’n the Jews were really so powerful as he and others like him like to say, wouldn’t they band together to forbid such talk? As it happens, Jews the world over are constantly being physically attacked, so I don’t ken how they’re supposed to be so powerful. If they were, in fact, the sneaking heathen devils and Christ Killers they’ve been portrayed as, then why don’t they go to Russia and free their oppressed brethren from the lash and the knout? Or why don’t they go to France and do something about the Frenchies as gave pore old Dreyfuss such a hard time? Or why don’t they go to Ireland and–well, do SOMETHING?
“Of course, old Musky Dan would say that the Jews have brought it on themselves–pretending to be a religion, when actually, all they are is a tribe. He claims that even if you baptize a Jew, he remains a Jew. Why? Because he’s a Jew by race and not by religion or temperament. According to Musky Dan, the Jew could be from one of the finest old families who came here generations ago–and he would still be nothing more than a Jew.
“Me, I don’t care about such distinctions. It’s all the same old poppycock. A Jew can be swindled just as easily as a Gentile, and that’s all I’m concerned with. Of course, when you try pointing out to old Musky Dan that there are a lot of Jewish philanthropists, then he’ll grunt that all of them are little better than robbers, and that they regard such so-called public generosity as merely a cost of doing business, and that they give out pennies so they can steal thousands of dollars more, with their shoddy merchandise and sharp business practices, and hoarding lint. You try telling them that there are plenty of gentiles who engage in the same shenanigans, and he’ll say that they’re merely doing it in order to be competitive with the thieving Jews. Every argument he manages to muster always circles back to the perfidy of the Jews as being the reason behind everything that’s wrong in the world. Who writes the cheap pulp novels that encourage youngsters to become stagecoach robbers? The Jews in the newspaper publishing industry. Who writes the pornographic literature that encourages young men to adopt a life of dissipation and lechery? The Jews in the book publishing industry. Who prescribes the infernal pain-killers, cough mixtures, women’s friends, and consumption cures that get their hapless victims hopelessly hooked on the dope? The Jewish doctor, pharmacist, grocer, etc. And who defends the most desperate criminals whose minds have been scrambled by all the suspect literature and opium eating? The Jewish lawyer, of course.
“Now, Musky Dan is a liberal, in that he will go so far as to admit that the Jew is a human being. But he’s a dyed in the wool curmudgeon in that he is unwilling to concede that they are no different from anybody else. He says that he can smell one a mile away. I do rather doubt Musky Dan can smell much of anything, actually, with that busted up honker of his, all spidered up with gin blossoms. But that is neither here nor there. ‘Any excuse will serve a tyrant.’ Anyway, you try to convince Musky Dan that Jews is mostly is no better and no worse than anybody else, and he’ll practically roar his answer: ‘That’s what the swine would like us to think–the better to swindle us all! And kill our babies while we sleep, if we ain’t circumspect!’
“And when I try telling him that hating Jews is the last resort of a fool, he accuses me of engaging in sophistry! He says that the Jews have engaged for centuries in murder, usury and fraud, and that someday they’re all going to get what’s coming to them. Well, you can’t reason with that kind of logic. It’s one reason I don’t go there much anymore. I suspect that it’s the Gib Yellof who’s been spreading such slanders, probably in league with certain members of the yellow press. There are some fools who will believe anything they read in the newspaper, and there are some foolish scribblers as will repeat in print any wretched lie that springs into their head.”
“I suppose, however, that there would be one great advantage to getting rid of all the Jews.”
He looked at Cadger Tandy to gauge his reaction. There was none. The fourteen year old boy was as sedate as an old brown owl.
“One great advantage of getting rid of them–there’d be more loot for you and for me!”
And Count Victor Lustig laughed a good hearty laugh, which eventually died down into a slightly guilty chuckle.
This was new. Cadger Tandy had seldom ever seen the old man even so much as crack a smile.
THE GOOD EARTH
LUXURY CONDOS COMING TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD SOON!
GERMAN PROPAGANDA ARCHIVE
Source document for the powerful hillbilly meme.
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
TEN GREATEST ALL-NUDE FIGHT SCENES IN COMICS
“All-nude fight scenes” in comics is kinda redundant. All superheroes are actually nude. Insofar as the art is art at all, it is the art of anatomy in a graphic format. Endless redundant fight scenes are a hallmark of soup-a-Nero comics to this very day–and it’s all about the fascination that pre-adolescents have with the nude or semi-nude body–hence, the popularity of wrestling, boxing, et al.
THE DUTCH: THREAT OR MENACE?
A BESTIARY OF STALINS
11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
Medicare was flawed from the outset. In 1965, when passing the legislation, the Congress could have regulated health care costs as well. They chose not to. And health care costs have increased exponentially ever since.
CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
922. I WAS A TANTRIC SEX SLAVE!
923. THE MADNESS OF ADAM ANT
924. HATE FACE
The face of a Devil
The Soul of an Angel
He rescued millions,
Yet none could bear
His revolting visage
Some say he died in battle
Others say it was his broken heart
That killed him!