THE INFORMATION #856 OCTOBER 2, 2015

THE INFORMATION #856
OCTOBER 2, 2015
Copyright 2015 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

Flattery is a kind of bad money, to which our vanity gives us currency. –Francois de La Rochefoucauld

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TEN: PART THIRTY-EIGHT: KINGDOM COME
“I’m on the train quite a bit, and about the only pleasure I get, other than swindling salesmen in crooked card games for laughs and pocket money, is in talking to George, the Pullman Porter. Everyone calls them George, but it helps to get acquainted with them and get to learn their real names, because they can do you a powerful heap of good. Although I did play a lousy trick on one of ’em once.     

“I recall one time I was taking a train and as I was disembarking I said to the Pullman Porter, “Here, Boy, is your tip.” Wouldn’t you know it, he comes running after me in the lobby of the train station. “Mistah Boss, you done gib me a hunnert dollah bill–by mistake!” He handed it back to me and I looked at him with a level stare and turned and gave the bill to another Porter who was standing nearby.  And I says to the first Porter, ‘That there will teach you to hang on to what you got!’ 

You can bet that there was a lot of rolling of the bones and razor fights in the Pullman caboose on THAT night! And that the boon who won all the simoleons with a pair of shaved dice was feastin’ on fried chicken and watty-melon.” 

Count Justin Victor turned to me. “Ain’t that right, me fine laddy-buck?”

It was all I could do to gulp out, “Yes Sir!” Up until that moment I wasn’t even aware that the Count knew I was there–and drinking in every word.

“That’s the thing about cash money,” the Count resumed complacently. “It acts like a catalyst.You can take a thoroughly static situation and introduce the cash on the barrelhead and suddenly…haw! You should see the pickaninnies scramble when you toss ’em a heated nickel! But they’ll grab at ’em all the same. Even pennies. This, in the French Quarter of N’Orleans. Yob, if you train yourself to look at the world through the eyes of a Zigaboo, you can get one over on nearly any man. Don’t let their fat lips and bug eyes fool you–those babies are shrewd. If they make you smile at them and laugh out loud, it’s all a part of their plan. I know one old coon used to go to the tobacco store and ask for ‘Mister’ Prince Albert in a can–because there was a white man on the front and he didn’t want to cause offense. I know another darkey who used to get upset whenever they would spray for mosquitoes. He’d start in to grumbling that ‘The white man don’t want us to have NOTHING’. 

“I should talk, though. A Boog saved my bacon. I’d of caught the 11:59 if it weren’t for a railroad porter. The train was just pulling out of the stop I had intended to step off at and was moving at what I thought was a slow clip, but looks can be deceiving and the Pullman porter grabbed me by the sleeve and said ‘Nuh uh, Boss, you ain’t gettin’ off THIS train nohow.’ I gave that man a twenty dollar tip. Another time, I got a Porter good and drunk one night in a Mex dive in Juarez, and he told all. Bohunks and greenhorns are always stingy tippers. They’re afraid they’re being cheated, I suppose, and usually they are. Backcountry Southerners eat like pigs and are tight with their dough. New Englanders have better manners, but have a reputation for being tightfisted. Specially them billygoat farmers from the North Country.They’ll hold onto that dollar ’til the eagle screams. Talking about Michigan, people from the upper peninsula are shitheels. The best tippers are from Califor-ny-ay and anywheres west of the Mississipp’. Don’t ask why it should be so, but ’tis. Professional baseball players are the worst–a bunch of illiterate, rowdy drunks. Traveling salesmen are usually reliable. You never know how a woman  will tip, but usually they will. Young whores in the bloom of their youth are always generous. Religious types are downright parsimonious. Some of them will even give you tracts. 

 

“Yes, the birds who work the Pullman cars are crazy shrewd. You better believe it, Yob. You may call them gorillas, but they can make a monkey out of all of you–they are the crème de la crème. They can take one good gander at you and size you up for a con men quicker than you can say ‘Jack Robinson’. How can they tell? My guess is that the good con man blends in with his surroundings, but he’s also apt to be just a little too good at it. Like he’s too clean; his fingernails are too buffed; his shave is too close. He’s extra careful about his clothes. And his hat is always spotless. Jigs have good people sense. They can always tell a con man from a drummer. They can also tell a good white man from a mucker.

“Worldly success in other men is something a good con man can see, and, better, sense. You can’t kid a kidder. Sure, maybe con men are just as certain to lose their own money due to drink or gambling or wild women or all three, but somewhere in their noggins they know what they’re doing, even if they can’t stop themselves. Other people don’t–unless they’ve been wised up. It’s funny how that works. I doubt that one con man in ten trusts banks, or puts much stock in pettifogging financiers. They’d rather roll up their dough in a window shade, or sequester it away in a money belt or some such gimmick. And then, because it’s ready to hand, why, they WILL spend it. Or, worse still, someone will rob them of it, or a wise cop will shake them down. That’s why I always carry 200 smackeroonies in walking around money sewn up in my jacket. Because you never know. My money or my life? I seldom have to think twice.

“Being a confidence man is better than being a rich man. You want my confidence? Show me the color of your money. The people I cheat are privileged to get to know a character like me, I dare say. I certainly wouldn’t give them the time of day if they had no gelt, though I might be tempted to pass a friendly word, say, with the shoeshine boy, who often gets all kinds of tips which are not money but valuable information–about the stock market and the ponies, and who’s fucking who. What rich man’s son is a stage-door Johnnie and therefore gullible and easy pickings. Like I said, Boogs are shrewd. You discount the inherent nobility and wisdom of our sable brethren at your own risk. Haw! When I think of how many tips I’ve received from lavatory attendants and even elevator operators–“A ‘tective was askin’ around about you Boss; I didn’t tell them nuffin'”–time to leave that particular hotel. For all the scrapes their tips have got me out o,f or the times they kept me out of a jam, and all the times they steered me onto a sucker ripe for the pickin’—-I ought to give the colored race a medal, is what.”

The Count didn’t always talk like that; but he was mellow with beer.   
1*SALUTATION

ROLLING STONES

DO YOU THINK I REALLY CARE?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWiY5tseAF0

2*REFERENCE

Pittsfield triple-slaying suspect Caius Veiovis writes of disdain for ‘Twilight’ franchise – and media’s reporting skills – in jailhouse letter

PITTSFIELD – Triple-slaying suspect Caius Veiovis wants the world to know that he is not speaking with a forked tongue when it comes to expressing his disdain for the Twilight movie and book franchise.   “Pop culture inspires me to vomit hot blood,” wrote Veiovis in a jailhouse letter sent to the Berkshire Eagle.   The 31-year-old Pittsfield resident, along with Adam Lee Hall, 34, of Peru, and former Springfield resident David Chalue, 44, are charged with abducting and killing three men whose bodies were recovered from a trench in Becket on Sept.10.   Pittsfield residents David Glasser, 44, Edward Frampton, 58, and Robert Chadwell, 47, were last seen on Aug. 28. in an apartment shared by Glasser and Frampton.  Veiovis, who started life as Roy C. Gutfinski, chides the media for reporting that his adopted name comes from a character in the vampire-based romances which has inflamed the passions of legions of mostly young and mostly female fans.  “I have never seen this silly movie, nor have I read the books, nor would I ever — even now — waste my time with such useless drivel,” wrote Veiovis in a florid, almost unreadable, script.  The suspect, who really does have a forked tongue, also sports sharpened teeth and “666” inked onto his forehead. In his booking photo, Veiovis had what appeared to be a pair of horns or tusks protruding from his nostrils.  The letter, signed Caius Domitius Veiovis, underscored by an upside-down cross and “666,” was received by the Berkshire Eagle on Monday.   “My first and middle chosen names were inspired and taken from the great Roman emperors Caligula and Nero, my last — from an ancient Etruscan daemon,” wote Veiovis.
http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2011/10/pittsfield_triple-slaying_susp.html

3*HUMOR

16 (Funny) Things I Learned from a Colonoscopy

http://www.divinesecretsofadomesticdiva.com/2011/10/08/15-things-i-learned-from-a-colonoscopy/

4*NOVELTY

POWERBALL WINNER IS TOOTHLESS REDNECK

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=3510448

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

Two arrested after Providence fight video featuring samurai sword goes viral

By Amanda Milkovits


PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A daytime street brawl in Elmwood started by a couple with a samurai sword went viral on social media — and prompted the arrests of two men.

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhnx6FjA8xT6pBP6R7

The 3-minute, 22-second, video starts with 45-year-old David Thomas carrying a samurai sword and threatening violence, as a woman with him yells at a man about working on cars outside her apartment on Balcom Street. Thomas slaps himself in the head several times, as if gearing up for a fight, ignoring an older woman trying to calm them down.

“You’re messing with the wrong dawg,” Thomas says, and flashes a hand sign. “Cranston Street. Cranston Street King.”

The fight starts, and children wail and scream. The video ends with Thomas lying sprawled and motionless in the street, the sword gone, as the man filming him points: “Yo, dawg, you got knocked the [expletive] out!”

No one called the police about the fight last week. Instead, the police learned about it along with anyone else who viewed the video after it was posted last Friday on the popular Web site World Star Hip Hop, where it took off. The video had nearly 780,000 views by Thursday morning.

Maj. David Lapatin said that police identified Thomas as the man with the sword and Luis Ruiz, 30, from Jillson Street, in Washington Park, as the man who kicked Thomas while he was down. Both were charged with disorderly conduct; Thomas told police he didn’t have a complaint, Lapatin said.

Thomas was arraigned Sunday and released with a no-contact order. Ruiz was arraigned Tuesday at District Court, where he pleaded no contest, and his case was filed.

No one else has been identified in the video, nor is it clear whether anyone was notified about the children heard shrieking and screaming “Mommy!” during the fight. Family Service of Rhode Island, which frequently responds to calls with police, was not notified.

No one appears to notice the children watching on the porch. Instead, several men are seen pulling out cell phones and filming Thomas after he was knocked down. “That’s what youse [expletive] get,” one man says.

http://www.providencejournal.com/article/20150924/NEWS/150929613

ALSO SEE:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/3leum7/black_dude_tries_to_fight_bikers_with_sword/
6* DAILY UTILITY

100 SEXIEST COMIC BOOK WOMEN

http://www.comicvine.com/comics-buyers-guide-presents-2-100-sexiest-women-i/4000-463770/
7*CARTOON

Shappi Khorsandi 

Live At The Apollo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvmKanOEAXE&feature=youtu.be

8*PRESCRIPTION

PARANOIA IS THE NEW STUPID
Ted Cruz has a vision for conservatism’s future. And it just might work.
http://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/paranoia-is-the-new-stupid/

9*RUMOR PATROL
BILL COSBY HAD HIS SON KILLED TO HIDE SEX CRIMES

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2015/09/bill-cosby-had-son-killed-to-hide-sex-crimes-scandalous-new-book/

10* LAGNIAPPE

THE MEKONS 

32 WEEKS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec3ChH5uAuQ&feature=youtu.be

11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

Bizarre commercial for Movantik
Movantik TV Commercial, ‘Opioid Baggage’

What I want to know is why does THE PILL have its portrait painted?
http://www.ispot.tv/ad/79jG/movantik-opioid-baggage

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
815. DONALD TRUMP AS YOU’VE NEVER SEEN HIM

http://giant.gfycat.com/HoarseCompetentAlligatorsnappingturtle.gif

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THE INFORMATION #855 SEPTEMBER 25, 2015

THE INFORMATION #855
SEPTEMBER 25, 2015
Copyright 2015 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

A successful swindler has to be a great salesman even more than a great actor. –David Suchet 

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TEN: PART THIRTY-SEVEN: KINGDOM COME
Count Justin Victor took a long pull from his schooner of flat reeb poured by a sullen Tipsy Smith and turned to both me and Pappy O’Day.

“For me, it’s not so much the stumpy you get out of fleecing the bleeder–although it is that too; otherwise why would any man bother–but it’s the thrill of the chase; it’s for the sheer joy of leading the lamb to the slaughter, you might call it. The wolf knows he’s a wolf; the lamb knows he’s a lamb; each plays his predestined and foreordained parts. You don’t take all the risks I take just for fun. The feathered oof-bird is the reward; dinarly; if it wasn’t for money, most of us wouldn’t even stir from bed. Me, I’m a sheep in the morning; I sleep until the afternoon; it’s the way I’m built; no morning glory, me, Yob. I only prowl in the afternoon and on certain nights. Don’t like working in a rainstorm or when Oliver is in town; never did; I’m superstitious that way; but if there’s quick money to be made in a short con I’ll gladly overcome my scruples, and for a long con there’s no help for it.  I live too close to the wood to be frightened by an owl. Pempe moron proteroy–that’s my motto.

“I ride the train quite a bit. Almost as much as the chumperoos who have actual jobs where they have to be there bright and early at seven in the morning or whatever ungodly hour their boss tells them to be there. None for me, thanks; I never had a boss or worked a real job a day in my life after I turned 25 and let me tell you something–I don’t miss it at all. Not any of it.That’s not to say that the grifting life isn’t a lot of work, because it is. I might have gone into sales and maybe not worked so hard. But salesmen are slyboots; they’re ruthless in their deceit. Even more so than the con man. I don’t know how those birds can sleep at night. Sure, they say they only sell to people who want to buy. That’s a load of hooey. They only sell to people who are willing to pay too much for what they have to offer. Dollars follow dollars. Let me put it to you this way–if the goods were priced fairly, you wouldn’t need no salesman and no advertising either; people would come streaming in the door; word of mouth alone would do the job. But nobody wants to make a fair profit anymore; it’s always gouge away at the old file’s purse and devil take the hindmost. This country runs on splatterdash and slumguzzle; from the ward-heeler to the mouthpiece to the bluecoat and on down. The ordinary sap gets treated like a lazy cur; plenty of kicks and cuffs and very few kind words. I do sometimes think that if you gave most people enough to eat and a warm place to make their bed they would be perfectly satisfied to work for nothing. Of course, there’s a name for people like that. They’re called ‘slaves’. Small wonder, then, that our colored brethren are so, how shall you put it, ‘mercenary’. They had quite enough of working for nothing. Quite enough, too, of being lashed for minor indiscretions. That’s what makes some of ’em go ‘bad,’ though of course there’s some of them who are bad from the start. Of course, nearly all of them will steal. That’s a given. But think about what was stolen from them. From birth. That’s why we put up with it. Deep down in our hearts there, we know. Of course, if you kick a salesman in the heart, then you’ll break your foot.

“I see a lot of salesmen on the road. The ones in unhappy marriages are always the most successful. Maybe because they don’t mind drumming for eighty hours a week, which is what it takes when you’re first starting out in a new territory. Sometimes you even end up losing pewter, because there are certain things you can’t get away with putting on an expense account and they have to come out of your own pocket. Like abortions, for starters. And I’ve known plenty of them who are on the dope. The door-to-door book salesmen in particular. Those creatures are the lowest of the low, worse than even a standing patterer, and believe me when I say that traveling salesman is a pretty low profession to start out with, like vaudeville hoofer or maybe a sanitation engineer. Even a punchy ex-prizefighter has more dignity. You’ll never dine with the Cabots and the Lodges, or even the Vanderbilts. Though I suppose P.T. Barnum and Diamond Jim Brady will always be glad to see you. And of all the low-down scoundrels who can’t get a job doing anything else, the Bible salesman is the worst sinner there is. Imagine a not so young man who comes to your town a stranger, wearing a derby hat and a black frock coat and carrying a rolled-up black umbrella, and preaching pious platitudes from the corner of his mouth and stealing anything that ain’t nailed down and seducin’ your daughter in the bargain. Chances are, he’s a jackleg preacher, or a Bible salesman, or both. 

“I fail to see why salesmen give themselves such airs. They’re more vain than actors, and that’s goin’ some. Whores, preachers, and shyster lawyers ain’t got nothin’ on salesmen. After years on the road, I’m convinced that you have to be a little nutty to be a good salesman. You got to be Captain Grand; a real good liar. Even when you’re selling cag-mag. Especially so. “Our stuff is the nuts. The other guy’s stuff ain’t worth shit.” Or words to that effect. Hell, why say it when you can show it? It’s really too bad that, mostly,the salesman has to rely on a smooth line of palaver. A lot of them hard-shell hicks from the big stick country ain’t hearin’ a word of it. They’re immune to slick patter. And so is the Yankee farmer. Can you imagine a life selling farming implements to those babies? To me, that would be the definition of a perfect hell. “Today I made five dollars–and a peck of apples”. Haw! Feast on that, Mr. McCormick!”

And then, for no good reason, the Count broke into song:

The Seven Stars–our favorite groggery,
The home of every vice and pettifoggery
The owner says drink drink drink,
Boys, he says–never mind the awful stink
Hurrah–The Seven Stars!

1*SALUTATION

TOM JONES

WHAT’S NEW, PUSSYCAT?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBdSqk78nHw
2*REFERENCE

  1. PUNCH’S HISTORY OF THE GREAT WAR

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/11571/11571-h/11571-h.htm

3*HUMOR

DON RICKLES ON THE JERRY LEWIS TELETHON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahbWXJVGNVA

4*NOVELTY

THE BEST AND WORST OF EUROPE

https://www.ricksteves.com/watch-read-listen/read/articles/the-best-and-worst-of-europe

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

EPIC DOUCHEBAGS

http://acidcow.com/pics/26483-epic-douchebags-43-pics.html

6* DAILY UTILITY

CITY VS. COUNTRY HAM

http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/shopping-storing/food/country-ham

7*CARTOON

Deepest Mandelbrot Set Zoom Animation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jGaio87u3A

8*PRESCRIPTION

FOUNT OR FONT?

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2013/08/poll-results/

9*RUMOR PATROL

YOUR LIFE ON EARTH

http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141016-your-life-on-earth

10* LAGNIAPPE

NICHOLAS BROTHERS

I GOT A GAL IN KALAMAZOO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t521jxF8tyc&feature=youtu.be

11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

The Negro community frowns upon your shenanigans

https://imagemacros.wordpress.com/2009/07/28/the-negro-community/

SEE:

What really happened at fire station number 5?

http://www.laweekly.com/news/what-really-happened-at-fire-station-5-2147875

ALSO SEE:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-572489.html

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
814. DR. PEPPER IMPOSTERS

Mr. Pibb
Dr. Shaw’s
Dr. Pop
Dr. Thunder
Dr. Sparkle
Dr. Bob
Dr. A+
Dr. Skipper
Dr. Wild
Dr. Radical

SEE ALSO:

http://www.thelingerlonger.com/dr-pepper-imposters.html

THE INFORMATION #854 SEPTEMBER 18, 2015

THE INFORMATION #854
SEPTEMBER 18, 2015
Copyright 2015 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TEN: PART THIRTY-SIX: KINGDOM COME

The three women left the Seven Stars bar en masse, and Count Victor Justin lost some of his sly look as he he drunkenly held forth to Pappy O’Day and Tipsy Smith. “Ye damn well better listen and listen good, ” said he. “I’m buyin’.”
Indeed, Pappy O’Day, old as the the ball-headed rascal was, looked remarkably invigorated as the schooners of beer kept rolling across the scarred wooden surface of the bar.

“Feed the sick,” said the Count, “clothe the hungry, comfort the naked. That’s my motto. And that there’s my religion, too. I’ll admit that maybe I got it mixed up backwards. But don’t never say I ever say my prayers backwards.That’s how you summon the Evil One. You know what I mean. 

“Some say the that money is the root of all evil. I wouldn’t go that far. But what is life? In this country it’s all about John Davis. Jack. Gelt. Moolah. The devil’s dung. I’ll admit; when I had it, I spent it. I was never selfish. Pewter is made to be spent, if not outright squandered. Otherwise, it sticks to your soul the most. Like a wart. Who wants that? 
“I knew a man–a mingy old miser–he died broke. Got caught up in a stock market swindle. Sometimes it’s the greediest duffers who suffer the most. God almighty catches up to ’em. And sometimes it’s the blameless. The guilty must suffer. And it’s all a crapshoot. The innocent must suffer too. Love is Ready John and Ready John is love. Spread your dimmock wherever you go, and you’re sure to be remembered when you die. Like a squirrel and his nuts. Don’t laugh. Up at the park one time I seen a baby squirrel go toe to toe with a bulldog to protect his acorns. Bulldog got the worst of it. The furry little critter wouldn’t quit.  
“What wouldn’t  a man do for money? Climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest river? Only a chump gives it away for free. Honesty? Tell me, then, who is honest? Only the drunk. Too foozled to lie, and he doesn’t want to anyway. That’s why if you’re going to gamble in card games, you need to know how to hold your liquor. Even the most cunning drunks will tell the truth, but everybody else will lie when it suits them. Oh, they’ll refer to it as prevarication…or they’ll tell you that you needn’t worry, it’s only a white lie, but the truth is a scarce commodity anywhere you go. The only people who tell the truth are the people you don’t listen to. The crazy ones. I read a fairy story about that, once, somewhere. 
“Why do they tell you to save for a rainy day? It’s always raining somewhere. I say let us buy the things that money can buy, and let the goo-goos worry about the rest. I’ll take it one step further. I say, why not worship posh? Cash Money Down is the best way to fully experience life. Wooing women without having palm oil to spread around is like wooing an old maid who’s no beauty. There’s no future in it. None. And it’s easier to make friends with brass. Lots and lots of it. How else are you going to stand for drinks withouten you have the ooftish? Eh, Tipsy? 
“Money–worthless? No, my friend, it isn’t so, and please note that the poets who tell you that the hard stuff has no worth are always the first in line when the free drinks are being handed out. Because people with no chips may be pure at heart, though I doubt it, but one thing’s for sure–they have no pride. Give them diamonds, furs and gold–and see how quickly they give them up. 
“Your noble poverty is cold comfort indeed, you lilies of the field! The idea of happiness without hay is a cruel joke. Only the most insolent whippersnapper would even countenance the idea. You can be sure that the man who says he hates money also hates America, and our American way of life. And is a sucker, to boot. Just waiting for a chance to show how greedy he can be. 
“You may note that I say “he”–no woman has ever been known to preach such twaddle, Women, for all their monstrous traits, are wise–and they know better. They know about the inner calm a fat bankroll can bring. Why else do they always chatter ceaselessly about “pin money” and the like? Behind every rich man is likely a good woman who pushed him along and socked away the ducats one at a time.
“Most fellers would rather snooze and fish. Believe me; I know. But there’s nothing else like having chinkers. Ochre is like a magic wand–wave it around, and good things start to happen. 
“Even better than having your own Yaller Boys to spend is having the use of someone else’s. But here’s the downside–there’s no challenges left once you’re sitting on a huge pile of muck. That’s why you have to spend it all–so that you’re forced to go out and make more. That’s why some people never stop trying to get one over–on you and everyone else–they’re scared to death that if they stop moving, they will die. 
“Even God is not immune to the lure of Shiners. Has He ever said so? I don’t know about it. “Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom?” Haww…. 
“That is why I have no compunction whatsoever about swindling some sucker out of his bankroll. Chances are, he got his pelf through some crooked means. The man who earns his stumpy honest-like ain’t so quick to wager it on a fool’s errand. There is, I’ll warrant, a kind of fool that’s sloppy with his wad no matter how it was earned. Because it takes all kinds.  
“I find that most honest folk are different, but every single dishonest man is exactly the same. The experienced practitioner need only look to the gleam in a rogue’s eye. Take his tin away from him and you plunge a knife through his heart, but it’s all for the good. He learns a valuable lesson. At least, it is to be hoped. A lesson worth every bit of the lost coppers! 
“I believe in charity. To a point. Mostly for Yours Truly. Some say you should put your money where your mouth is. I say you should make sure you have enough of the actual to begin with–before you even open your gob.”

1*SALUTATION

YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT
KENNY DINO
HILLARY CLINTON, DEMONCRAT
PULP COVERS
THE BEST OF THE WORST
http://pulpcovers.com/

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

TEENAGE GIRL CHARGED FOR ENCOURAGING BOYFRIEND TO COMMIT SUICIDE
BASEBALL CARD VANDALS
SPEEDBALL LETTERING TEXTBOOK
8*PRESCRIPTION
DONALD TRUMP HAIR LOOKALIKES

9*RUMOR PATROL

The Most Dangerous Book in the World: 9/11 as Mass Ritual
EASY BAKE OVEN COMMERCIALS 2011 AND 1963

https://youtu.be/lreImESlrG0

https://youtu.be/XcY0ghee5Sc

11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
Keith Richards’ 20 Greatest Songs
ALSO SEE:
KEITH RICHARDS ON RAP
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/keith-richards-rap-is-for-tone-deaf-people-20150903

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
813. BEN CARSON’S GREATEST HITS

Carson has been relatively obscure – so here are a few of his best hits:
 
1) On wheth­er be­ing gay is a choice: “Be­cause a lot of people who go in­to pris­on go in­to pris­on straight” and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something hap­pen while they were in there? Ask your­self that ques­tion.”
 
2) On polit­ic­al cor­rect­ness: “I mean, [our so­ci­ety is] very much like Nazi Ger­many. And I know you’re not sup­posed to say ‘Nazi Ger­many,’ but I don’t care about polit­ic­al cor­rect­ness. You know, you had a gov­ern­ment us­ing its tools to in­tim­id­ate the pop­u­la­tion. We now live in a so­ci­ety where people are afraid to say what they ac­tu­ally be­lieve.”
 
3) On the IRS: “You know, we live in a Gestapo age, people don’t real­ize it.”
 
4) On Ad­vanced Place­ment his­tory class: “I think most people, when they fin­ish that course, they’d be ready to go sign up for IS­IS.”
 
5) On vet­er­ans dy­ing wait­ing for med­ic­al care from the De­part­ment of Vet­er­ans Af­fairs: “I think what’s hap­pen­ing with the vet­er­ans is a gift from God to show us what hap­pens when you take lay­ers and lay­ers of bur­eau­cracy and place them between the pa­tients and the health care pro­vider. And if we can’t get it right, with the re­l­at­ively small num­ber of vet­er­ans, how in the world are you go­ing to do it with the en­tire pop­u­la­tion?”
 
6) On Obama­care: “You know, Obama­care is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this na­tion since slavery. And it is, in a way, it is slavery in a way be­cause it is mak­ing all of us sub­ser­vi­ent to the gov­ern­ment.”
 
7) On Obama’s ap­pear­ance: When a col­league said the pres­id­ent “looks clean. Shirt’s white. The tie. He looks el­eg­ant,” Car­son re­spon­ded: “Like most psy­cho­paths. That’s why they’re suc­cess­ful. That’s the way they look. They all look great.” He later said: “But he knows he’s telling a lie! He’s try­ing to sell what he thinks is not true! He’s sit­ting there say­ing, ‘These Amer­ic­ans are so stu­pid I can tell them any­thing.’”
 
8) On sim­il­ar­it­ies between the Found­ing Fath­ers, who were “will­ing to die for what they be­lieved,” and IS­IS: “They’ve [IS­IS] got the wrong philo­sophy, but they’re will­ing to die for what they be­lieve, while we’re busily giv­ing away every value and every be­lief for the sake of polit­ic­al cor­rect­ness.”
 
9) On the im­port­ance of the GOP win­ning the Sen­ate in 2014: In Au­gust, Car­son said he couldn’t be sure “there will even be an elec­tion in 2016” if Re­pub­lic­ans didn’t go on to win that fall. (His wife also said they were keep­ing their son’s Aus­trali­an pass­port handy if the elec­tion didn’t go their way.)
 
That’s right. That’s the guy who just tied Donald Trump in the poll. The GOP just confirmed that bat-shit crazy is the now officially the way forward in their party.

THE INFORMATION #853 SEPTEMBER 11, 2015

THE INFORMATION #853
SEPTEMBER 11, 2015
Copyright 2015 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

 …how abominable before God is the empire or rule of a wicked woman….–John Knox

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER TEN: PART THIRTY-FIVE: KINGDOM COME

Count Victor Justin quietly signalled to Pappy O’Day to look across the bar and onto the main area, where two somewhat attractive women were seated with a third, who was fat and slovenly.
“I ken you voker Romany, so buy me a shant of gatter and I’ll tell you about something useful, even though it’s something that gripes me in my guts. You see that paunchy mot over there? The big dirigible? The drab with the enormous bezooms like an Apple Dumplin Shop? The one sluicing her gob as though small beer will someday soon stop being manufactured and sold to the general public? She’s probably on the blob, but that’s no concern of mine. Take my advice, Pappy, and stay far away from her. They call her Sweet Molly, though she’s anything but pleasant. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that at one time we were maybe close. But it seems as though lately she has taken a strong dislike to me. All for the insignificant crime of referring to her in mixed company as “It” whilst her back was turned to me. She was out of twig, and I honestly did not know which sex she was supposed to represent. I imagined female, but wished to avoid deadly offence, lest she turn out to be some kind of queer Morphodite with loaded barkers. However, I care not. That drab is less to me than the most insignificant glob of protoplasm on a glass laboratory slide. Is she expecting me to give due regard to her feelings–if such a creature can even have feelings elevated above the level of the common dog? I–who have dined with swells and toff and been befriended by Princes and counseled men of wisdom in weighty affairs of state? I, who have always found a welcome at the tables of the fabled Five Hundred in whatever city or town where I happen to roam? I, Count Victor Justin, and she, a mere fawney-dropper for to get her daily scran, and I’m supposed to be cognizant of her feelings? Whistling girls and jumping sheep! I’m no Mandrake, but it ill behooves any woman, and especially this plump little lady, that she should bear me a grudge. ‘Hell hath no fury,’ etcetera etcetera etcetera. ‘The female of the species,’ and so forth. Say rather, ‘A Woman, a dog and a hickory tree….” Better that she should try to make herself as pleasant to me as her limited charms permit. But no–she will go about in a snit. A shivering Jemmy who works the shallow has a better attitude, and I will always put a yennap in his titfer. But her–I have no use for a haughty Judy. Especially a glimmy gammy Tail wearing gaudy luggers who is thoroughly nickey. A horse you can always put out to pasture. Call in the knacker when the time has come. But what’s to be done with an old bawd?  
“I do not mean to imply, by the way, that this Mizzling Mollisher has got my hackles raised. I could care less about her. I am sure the haybag has a mother who loves her, and she is one of God’s children, and other sky-pilot rubbish from the choker and the prater. I’d gladly smash in her phiz with a holywater sprinkler, myself. Snooty jade! How dare she ignore me; act as if I don’t exist! She had better beware–lest something bad happen–lest something sneak up on her–like a thief in the night. Not that I care so much as a fig for her. The blower has got bloodshot lamps, a notch in her smeller from a sharper’s chiv, a muzzler with running sores, choppers ground down to yellow stumps. No prize-winner, she. Just a coopered nag as could hold a candle to the devil, her. I would surely like to take my Nebuchadnezzar and put the Ladybird out to grass–not out of any attraction; just to teach her a lesson– but I don’t need a chavy from the likes of that glocky Nemmo. Lord knows I have bastards galore adorning each and every major port, from Casablanca to Maracaibo. I’m thinking I should put the Nobblers or the Punishers on her, or, at the very least, call in the rozzers to clap the ruffles on her and haul her before the beak, even though I have never been a nose and I would put down on no man to a Jack. But you can hardly expect me to protect a coopered Buor.
“For all I fancy, I may even have a brat by the nemmo. I neither know nor care. Sure and the bairn was very likely left at the church house door with a little bitty note, even though I know for a fact that the Twist can neither read ner write, not even to sign her Monniker. It’s a bad idea for a man of my soaring aptitudes and bad inclinations to bring forth seed–and from such a source!–into this bad old world. Look at the way things are going now. The skies are chocked with smoke from infernal mills. Horses are slowly being replaced by stink wagons. The telephone and telegraph mean you can communicate with somebody halfway around the world in seconds. A train can get you into Chi-town within a day, when it used to take weeks. I see nothing whatsoever to the good in any of this. This world can’t stand long the way it is. Not to act the foolossifer, but look at things the way they are. Soon there will be a big change. It can’t stand long. The world is too full of hate, and now we have flying machines and wireless telegraphy and who know what all else. The world is changing too fast to suit me, I’ll tell you that much. Used to be that a woman knew her place. Not no more. Next thing you know, they’ll be wanting to vote–and wear pants! 
“Let’s face up to it–in this world? A man needs to be rich, and that’s all there is to it.”    

1*SALUTATION

DAVID BOWIE
ALADDIN SANE
THINGS THAT ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY
10. KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE
9. RESPECT
8. SATISFACTION OF FULFILLING DREAMS
7. HEALTH
6. GOOD FRIENDS
5. LOVE, CARE AND CONCERN
4. A WARM AND HAPPY FAMILY
3. INNER PEACE
2. TIME
1. HAPPINESS3*HUMOR

RODNEY DANGERFIELD ON JOHNNY CARSON

4*NOVELTY

NATIONAL KILL A PIT BULL DAY

‘IT’S NOT WORTH IT’: Ad Exec’s Brutal Rant Before He Died Of Cancer

NEW WORDS IN OED
HOOSIER HOTSHOTS
I LIKE BANANAS BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO BONES
HOW TRUMP COULD SAVE AMERICA
Husband, 18, and wife, 42, ‘stole $2,000 worth of Christmas ornaments from neighbors to decorate their own yard’
10* LAGNIAPPE
LOU REED
TEN OF THE BEST

http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2015/sep/02/lou-reed-10-of-the-best

11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA

ZIMMERMAN BRAGS
http://kfor.com/2015/08/28/george-zimmerman-trolls-twitter-brags-about-killing-trayvon-martin/

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
812. “TO LEARN WHO RULES OVER YOU….”