THE INFORMATION #789 JUNE 20, 2014

THE INFORMATION
#789 JUNE 20, 2014
Copyright 2014 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.–Charles Dickens

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER NINE: PART FIFTEEN: THE MAYOR OF HELL

“What’s the use, ” Red Mary would start to blubber and rant, when deprived
of her chloral, “life is a racket, everything is a racket. I envy the
dead. I didn’t ask to be born. What do I do now? Even Poppa
was no good. I want my Daddy, he would make me laugh, go goo-goo and
ga-ga, he was wild about me–only he left and he never come back. Maw
says the Masons got him. Dirty dogs! With their secret handshakes and
their flaxen threads they use to fashion awful chains of steel. O!
Isn’t it a grand thing, to be a Mason with a secret handshake which
means you can commit murders and no earthly law can touch you–all of
the coppers who’re on the grab are Masons–only the devil in hell can get them,
and hell is where they are all going because they all committed great
sins against Holy Mother Church–old Lucifer will roast their blubbery
hides and singe their curly beards for them–the Pagans! I know it
because of spies sent out by the Pinkertons who reported back
to their Number One Chieftain with news of the afterlife.

“Up in heaven it’s all pie and ice cream and sodie pop runs in streams
beneath the candy cane bridge. In hell it’s all fire and ashes and
brick dust and rats being worried to death by fiery terriers. It’s
twenty-three flights of stairs to heaven but only seven steps down to
hell. Piety, Loyalty, Utility, Truthfulness and Order will get you to
the white city and Blasphemy, Treachery, Laziness, Lies, and Chaos
will bring you down to the place below. The Pinkertons know all about
it because the Pinkertons know about everything, including the kissing in
the corner, the whispering in the hall, and the tales of love behind the
stairs. And the Masonic plot to seize all the nation’s gold, which is
why you’ll never see a Jew ner a nigger with any money that ain’t got
at least one gold tooth in his rotten skull.

“I’m in a dark place now. I come from a time when there was honor and loyalty.
I had no money but I still got my stuff because down to the
Moon Drugs–they trusted me–I was a regular customer–and they knew they’d
allus get their money. Not no more. Cokey Stolas would cut your throat for a
dollar. He’s in with the Masons too. Probably knows the men who killed
my father.  Secret oaths, secret plans, secret combinations, secret
signs, secret handshakes, secret abominations! Give me my chloral. I
know you got it hid somewhere.”

I knowed Doc Ketman was sweet on her, and that it tore him up to deny
her the drug, but he would try to soothe her with some valerian root,
and, when she refused that, he would feed her a tea which was
compounded of Hops, Passion Flower, and Chamomile. This would
sometimes make her sleepy, but more often than not she had also
been drinking strong coffee, which had on her the particular effect
of racketing pulse and racing speech. “The world is full of associations, secret
associations.” And her thoughts would grow more and more scattered.
“You’re likely a member of the Pinkertons, sent to report on me to the
Big Cheese. Why won’t you give my chloral. You said you poured it down
the drain, but I know better. Someone tell the Mayor about how the
Black Hand is threatening me! Tell the Pope, tell General Booth, tell
Roosevelt! I’ll admit it, fellers, I been drinking when your back is
turned. I’m a bad girl, hic, I’m a bad girl. “

Ketman would tell her she was the best girl he knowed of, and I would
pipe in and second that motion, and it would soothe her for a time, but
soon she would go back to moaning and raving about the Masons and the
Pinkertons and the Black Hand.  And then she’d start in to shrieking.
“Why don’t they leave me alooone?! Why don’t they leave me aloone! I’m
not a bad girl! I’m not. Let them come near me–I’ll plant my diggers
in their dial face, I will. And that’s a very good sign that she’s
your tootsey-wootsey. I haven’t lived. Baby shoes. Little baby shoes.
What’ll you do with the baby-o.  Oh, get out of here. Pride and joy. She was only a
bird in a gilded cage. It won’t be a stylish marriage. Can’t afford a carriage. O, it’s you! Hasty words were spoken.  Please, I want to go. Over and over and over again. What more can I do? I won’t sell my house–I won’t! Not to Coach Crump or
none of them. Thinking of the happiness of just a few short years. Not
the face! O! Not the face! Far away beyond the glamour of the city and
its strife. We never mention Mary–no, we never mention Mary. Mary’s a
grand old name. It’s a shame it rained today. Oh, no, please don’t.
Say, you’re all right Joe.  Enough is enough is enough is enough. My mouth is dry. Draw me a beer. It’ll be my bier. Three little bears. Bears repeating. The tots
sang Ring-a-Rosie. Time to retire. The little boy with the curly hair
and the candle. When this world catches fire. Baby shoes. Little baby
shoes. They greased the floor with wax. Casey would waltz with a
strawberry blonde. It’s on the strict Q.T. In the merry merry month of
May.  The answer is no, never. Where am I? And where the hell is you?
Don’t! No! No!”

1*SALUTATION

2*REFERENCE
ALSO SEE:
3*HUMOR
4*NOVELTY
GILBERT GOTTFRIED, NEW YORK PUNK
http://lowbrowreader.com/gilbert-gottfried-new-york-punk/

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST

6* DAILY UTILITY
HOW TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT
http://time.com/110643/how-to-win-every-argument/

7*CARTOON

8*PRESCRIPTION
9*RUMOR PATROL
10* LAGNIAPPE
11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
TACO BELL
Taco Bell: Because when beef slurry gets together with emulsified soy products, it’s a beautiful thing.
CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.

747. THE FAULT IN OUR STARS
Ayesha rated it 1 of 5 stars
Shelves: contemporary, undeserved-hype, annoying-characters, books-i-would-love-to-burn, disappointing-books, i-loathe-this, pretentious-books-and-characters, turned-my-neurons-to-jelly, not-my-cup-of-tea, are-you-fucking-kidding-me, hello-mary-sue, greatest-fictional-jerks-ever, scatterbrained-protagonists, wasted-my-precious-time, had-colossal-hopes, eye-rolls-and-cringe-worthy, donno-what-is-so-appealing, awfully-boring-plot, i-m-gonna-let-you-burn-burn-burn, needs-a-freaking-editor, stinking-cowshit

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