THE INFORMATION #783 MAY 9, 2014

THE INFORMATION
#783 MAY 9, 2014
Copyright 2014 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.com

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to
pause and reflect.–Mark Twain

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER NINE: PART NINE: THE MAYOR OF HELL

Old Doc Ketman told me that he had some especially powerful hexes in
mind to circumvent the “demon-workings” of Richard B. Stolas. He said
that his incantations needed to be performed in the presence of the
demon’s enemies, and so there we were at the Seven Stars, with the
usual crew drinking and roistering and making loud nuisances of
themselves, and there was Ketman, looking downcast and holding before
him a foaming schooner of beer and muttering dark imprecations.

“I pray that this donkey soon may bray his last. Betray him, all you
demons. Beat him back. Trap him, trip him, grip him, you saints and
angels and saintly demons. Take this ranting behemoth and place him on
the griddle. Prick this puny punk, sink this shitty linthead; rent him, dent
him, bend him. No one wants him. Send him below. Afflict him with
warts.Send him back to where he should have gone long before. Smear
him with the dirt of his soul. The sleeping servant of blood. Darts
should round engirt his brows. Make him rife with vermin. Gift him
with plague and dropsy. Remove from him all signs of life. Turn his
children into waifs. Bait him with wild dogs. Raid him in his lair.
Put paid to his expectations. If I quench thee, thou flaming minister,
I can again thy former light restore. Hobble his gait. Pain him. Make
him lean. Make him moan. Moat him round with sorrows. Back his boat
upon the shore, that there shall not be one spot of love. Jesus
walketh with Ketman. He is my head; I am his limb. Therefore walketh
Jesus with Ketman.

“I call upon the mystical force!

“Beat him! Beat him back. Defile his features! Push him from his lofty
seat of pride! Reduce him to a toadstool! Make all his thoughts and
words like those of madmen! Sear him, tear him, smear him, bear him in
wild spite away across so wide a land! Roar, you oceans! Make him age,
and fade, and die! Load him ’til he staggers like a mule! May his male
parts wither; may he find holes in all his fine rainment; may he
be reviled amongst the multitudes! Warp the soles of his shoes! He is
not worth a cheap slipper. He weighs half of what a hair on my head
would weigh! He may be bought and sold, God! God speed the day! Cast
him out among the lost! Burn his bed to catch a flea! Tie him to the
mast and lash him! The mute devil under the smarting rod! I, Ketman,
appear before the house of the Judge. Three dead men look out of the
window; one having no tongue, the other having no lungs, and the third
was sick, blind and dumb.

“I call for the intervention of spirits!

“Beat him back! He shall be among the last; and the last shall BE
last! He shall be cast down among the most low! His path to Hell shall
be made easy! He is truly base; base with corruption; give him the
rope to hang himself; he wears the cape of shame and the robe of
defiance! All that is meet and good and proper shall flee from him, that one
time did him seek! He shall cast about in vain for the path to the
shore for he shall be among the lost at sea forever! He shall have no hope; no
ease; cursed be his very stones! He shall rule not in heaven nor earth
but in deepest Hades! Demons, tickle him, and further, render him
mute. Let him be as one whom moth and rust consume. Break, may he:
burst, may he; bullet, smart him; axe, rent him; fire, burn him; rock,
crush him; river drown him; tick bite him. May he go to his eternal
rest in eternal torment. Blessed wound, blessed hour, blessed be the
day on which Jesus Christ was born.

“I do declare that I shall call upon the elements to deliver unto him
my malediction!

“Muses, aid me! God made serpents and rabbits; God did not make him.
He was never born. Rather, he was grown. Crack him, rack him; when he
begs for water, fill his throat with silt and sand. Misfortune, test
him.  May his paradise be infiltrated by devils. Heaven, refuse him;
Hell, embrace him. May all his luck run out. May he be sicken with
cold. Cast him unto the deep. He is a weed among flowers; he is an ape
among men; he is a counterfeit among the genuine and the good; flay
him: bleed him! Send him around a blind bend! Make him accursed among
all the land! In the name of God, I make the attack. May it please my
Redeemer to assist me. Upon the holy assistant of God I depend
entirely; upon the holy assistance of God I rely very truly. God alone
be with us. Blessed be Jesus.

“I meditate his demise!

“May his bones break; may he melt off the face of the earth; may his
firstborn drown in a pond; may his second-born be trampled by horses!
May be be warm as a serpent and fit as a starveling pig! May he wander
over the face of the land, may be never sleep the sleep of the just,
may he drink but always still thirst; may he waken in the middle of
the night every night and rest no more! Devils, make a flute of his
nose; make a bagpipe of his guts, make a drum of his cheeks; of his
bones make drumsticks! May he smell a rose and be stung by a bee; may
he take a dose of salts and beshit himself in the street; may the
devil stamp upon his toes; may he lose all mortal flesh; may he catch
a fatal dose; may he be surrounded by foemen! May his snout wither and
fall into his gaping maw! He is a snake; he is a harlot; worse; he is
a bad Christian! Therefore ring him like a church bell is rung; beat
him like a drum; bolt him to the fiery stake and step upon the bellows extra
hard to stoke the fire! Hold him to the flame; singe every hair from
off his heathen head; Fortuna, hear me and be not in his favor. Smite
his fingers; afflict his toes; swell his tongue; deafen his ears; make
his eyes fall out! May all the perfumes of Arabia strive in vain to
sweeten his fat and freakish hand! Before the night is over; before
the day is through. Jesus, beneath thy guardianship I am safe against
all tempests and all enemies.

“I call upon the powers of the mind!

“Make his head ache as though it would burst! Afflict his pale belly
with the bloat. Crawl inside his head deep in the night and send my
enemy in shaded flight. Afflict his limbs with the palsy; make him
limp with the gout; damn him as the foe who has harmed me! Fill his
mouth with silt and his eyes with salt! Lay a dagger before him; let
him cut himself. Afflict his back with a hunch; afflict his neck with
boils; may he mate with a succubus; may he arrive too late for heaven
and just soon enough for hell. May the devil use his guts for a string
and stretch his blasted skin upon his bleached bones to form a kite to
soar high above the flames of Hell! May his fate be the fate of all
who have fallen into the lake of fire! May he be impaled upon a pike;
may he be washed out with the tide; may time and tide beat upon his
flayed back an everlasting tattoo; curse his home by hate and wrath
and make him fight both night and day! May luck hide from him as the
sun hides behind a thundercloud; may his wife tire of him; may his
children flee from him; may the devil file his teeth to nubbins; may
the baleful one use his stones for croquet balls; may the serpent bite
his heel. May he weaken and grow sick; may he weaken and die; may he
be as one dead and yet not die. May he reap what he has sown. May all
his goods be piled upon a ship and sunk in the briny deep. May he
always have his eyes open and may he always have good cause to weep.
Bring forth the pain of all the madness both known and unknown; lay it
upon his head!

“The oneness of all I call upon to aid me! Ananiah, Azariah, and
Missel, blessed be the Lord, for he has redeemed us from hell, and has
saved us from death, and he has redeemed us out of the fiery furnace
and has preserved us even in the midst of the fire; in the same manner
may it please him the Lord that there be no fire.

“For he alone is unholy. He alone is low. And he alone is the prince
of all that is ridiculous and despised! Amen.”

Well, all that was quite a mouthful, even for Ketman, and the
remarkable thing about it is that it was all recited from memory.

But soon–all too soon to suit me–Stolas got wind of these goings on.
There was a Judas among that crowd of barroom loochers, and it was
none other than the
barkeep and sudspuller, Tipsy Smith. Tipsy told Smash Conklin and
Conklin–of course–made a beeline to his patron–Stolas.

1*SALUTATION
CHARLES MINGUS
WEDNESDAY NIGHT PRAYER MEETING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=skDHzBsVk68

2*REFERENCE
USEFUL WEBSITES
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicaprobus/33-amazingly-useful-websites-you-never-knew-existed

3*HUMOR
WHAT MARK TWAIN DIDN’T SAY
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2012/12/10/fake_twain_quotes_and_other_hazards_of_twitter_116376-3.html

4*NOVELTY
ONLINE CALCULATIONS
http://io9.com/the-10-weirdest-calculations-you-can-make-online-right-1566425439/+Mark-Strauss

5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
UP CLOSE ON BASEBALL’S BORDERS
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/04/23/upshot/24-upshot-baseball.html?_r=1

6* DAILY UTILITY
ARE YOU AN INTOLERABLE INTELLECTUAL?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/are-you-an-intolerable-intellectual

7*CARTOON
TESTICULAR CAT ATTACK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIoOJKLHeY0

8*PRESCRIPTION
SEX DEGREES OF SEPARATION
http://calculators.lloydspharmacy.com/SexDegrees/index.aspx

9*RUMOR PATROL
FACEBOOK KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/22/watch-dogs-facebook-privacy-settings_n_5191237.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

10* LAGNIAPPE
2,3
WHERE TO NOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f0AEmTggzA

ALL TIME LOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3OQzFZRo2o

ALSO SEE:
SWELL MAPS
FULL MOON IN MY POCKET
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngVY50Jut7o

11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
PROTEST MUSIC
Protest music is every bit as oppressive as the injustices it is
supposedly intended to eradicate.

*11A BOOKS READ AND REVIEWED
1001 BIZARRE ROCK AND ROLL STORIES. LODGE. **1/2
ABSOLUTE FRIENDS. LECARRE. ***1/2
AVENGERS 4. INFINITY. ***
BATMAN & SON. ****
BIRDS OF PREY 1. ***1/2
CATWOMAN 3. UNDER PRESSURE. ***1/2
THE DIVIDE. TAIBBI. ****
EARTH ONE. 2. STRACZYNSKI. ***
ELEKTRA 3. RELENTLESS. ***1/2
ELEKTRA 4. FEVER PITCH. ***1/2
FIRSTWAVE. AZZERELLO. **1/2
FLASH BOYS. LEWIS. ****
GREEK STREET 1. MILLIGAN. ***
GREEK STREET 3. MILLIGAN. ***
HOUSE OF BUSH, HOUSE OF SAUD. UNGER. ****
JLA 4. ***1/2
MEMORIES OF MYSELF: ESSAYS BY DANNY LYON. ****1/2
THE NATURAL. KLEIN. ***1/2
OLD FRIENDS. KIDDER. ****
THE ORCHARD. ROBERTSON. ****1/2
PINK TRIANGLE. PORTER. ***
SPY CATCHER. WRIGHT. ***1/2
STEIG LARSSON’S GIRL….MINA. ***
SUICIDE SQUAD 2. ***1/2
SUICIDE SQUAD 3. ***1/2
SUPERMAN 3. FURY AT WORLD’S END. ***1/2
ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN 4. ***

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE.
741. BARBRA STREISAND
All aesthetic arguments which nominate Ms. Streisand for the status of
immortal greatness presuppose that everyone is on the same page in
terms of interests, orientation, and background, and that we all must
therefore be unanimous in acclaiming her and her narcissistic
showboating. My own visceral dislike of her is based on both her
personality and her legions of shrilly vociferous acolytes who insist
that by virtue of whatever dubitable talent she has, she is therefore
to be accorded carte blanche when it comes to the way she treats other
human beings.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s