#779 APRIL 11, 2014
Copyright 2014 FRANCIS DIMENNO
https://dimenno.wordpress.com WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER NINE: PART FIVE: THE MAYOR OF HELL
Doc Ketman was setting in the Seven Stars Tavern with young Cadger Tandy even though both were fast becoming unwelcome. The very sight of the Doc hurt the eyes of Tipsy Smith because Doc never bought nothing save only a short draft from time to time, and Cadger Tandy raised eyebrows every time he set foot in the place because he was only twelve years old and the bad-tempered whore who was his guardian, Red Mary, would of thrown somersaults had she heard he was hanging about the low dive. Doc was filling Cadger Tandy’s ear with accounts of some of the local color, as part of his extracurricular learning which was considerably more entertaining than readin’, writin’, and ciphering to the rule of three.
You ever see the likes of Jimmy. You know–Jimmy the Ragmop. Jimmy Ragmop, said Ketman. If not, then ye never will. There’s a Lot of Things You Never Learn at School.You know him–the ginger-haired Polack layabout–Tipsy Smith keeps him on out of the goodness of his heart as a sort of Bar Boy–bearded wretch–looks like the devil himself–likes to sing as he works–the big boys invited him to their shindies to provide a song or two–he’d always forget the lyrics–In the Good Old Summertime–what was so good about it I wonder–especially when you sing the same verse over and over–In the Sweet Bye and Bye–he sung it in a low baritone which was anything but sweet–Beautiful Bird Sing On–O Beautiful Bird Please Don’t–My Old Kentucky Home–and why don’t ye go back there, by God–Always in the Way–truer words were never spoken. The Jack Tar March–well, march it right on out of here, me Bucko. Jesus, I will arise.
Ah, me! To each his own. The violin don’t play for everybody–In the City of Sighs and Tears. One man likes playing violin, and the other likes it when his feet are smelly. Jesus, do thou lock my heart into thine.
“Ragmop, you are a twisty-mouth, red faced, red-bearded rascal with about as much sense as God gave a goose. You are a flea in my ear! Look at you! You are a miserable, satchel-mouthed rascal with the devil’s own green eyes! Your mouth is twisted up into a crooked smile but I bet you would be willing to kill all of us in our sleep–smother us in gas, maybe, or croak us with some poison Redeye. You are a fountain of sin, you red demon! You’re a half-bred, half-dead, half-human, half-wit!”
What could Conklin say to that? He turned on his heel and stalked out of the joint, while muttering something about a charmed life and next time I’ll trim his sails, I will. A soft answer turneth away wrath, as the Good Book says, but I knew Conklin, and I knew that he was not so easily appeased. I also knew that Jimmy Ragmop had a dark side, and it interested me to speculate what would become of him if he set to feuding after Conklin with a vengeance. In the name of God the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.
BLOOD ON THE SADDLE
WHY DO HUMANS LAUGH?
http://www.viralnova.com/takes-pictures-of-model-town/ 6* DAILY UTILITY
WHICH DEWEY DECIMAL CATEGORY ARE YOU?
http://content.easybib.com/which-dewey-decimal-category-are-you/#.Uzr4sPldWD8 ALSO SEE:
POLICE ARREST NAKED MAN WHO WAS RIDING TRICYCLE WHILE HIGH ON COCAINE
JERRY LEWIS IS STILL AN ASSHOLE
I saw Jerry signing his book in Cambridge Mass. circa 1982. I wish I had shouted out my questions about his percodan addiction and The Day the Clown Cried, but he had several goons there who would no doubt have hustled me out of there. He insulted one pathetic little old man who wanted to have his picture taken with Jerry: “Where did you get your clothes? At the Salvation Army?” And practically reduced him to tears. This compassionate humanitarian!
*11A BOOKS READ AND REVIEWED
AVENGERS: ENDLESS WARTIME. ***1/2
BAD FOR YOU. PYLE & CUNNINGHAM. ***
BLOOD WILL OUT. KIRN. ***1/2
In July 1987 a Florida woman was arrested for feeding her two children a can of Vienna sausage on a Miami commuter tram. The sausage company sent her $125 to pay the fine. http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1368&dat=19881202&id=mqNRAAAAIBAJ&sjid=nhIEAAAAIBAJ&pg=1540%2C320032