THE INFORMATION #768 JANUARY 24, 2014

THE INFORMATION
#768 JANUARY 24, 2014
Copyright 2014 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
https://dimenno.wordpress.comWe make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, but of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry. –William Butler Yeats

WHEN THIS WORLD CATCHES FIRE
BOOK THREE: SAVAGE NOXTOWN
CHAPTER EIGHT: PART TWENTY-SEVEN: THE FALL

“My friends,” said the Reverend John Otis Cross, “I say that that poor BEAST…as clever as he mought be…like the Gadarene swine…is condemned to perdition…because has no immortal SOUL.” 
 
You ought to have seen Jim Whitey’s face swell up as though his head were made of a toy balloon and some joker had stuck a tire pump into his neck and begun vigorously plunging down at the handle as the good Reverend made his, admittedly, mild and temperate remarks. 
 
“And,” said the Reverend, delicately plunging his foot more deeply into the fathomless mire, “My DEAR friends–and I call you this because you are all my friends–and your souls are DEAR to God–what would you say if I told you that you were all of you destined to go to heaven–provided you get right with the Lord and stop your heathen foolishness such as treasuring up and idolizing an arithmetical pig?” 
 
“Doubtless you will laugh and snort and snicker and you will say Haw Haw Haw all my friends are going to hell and I want to be with them but what you do NOT know about hell may shock and astound you. Friends, hell is a place of infinite coldness and darkness and dampness, like the bottom of a well only ten million fathoms deeper, and filled with the sounds of the weeping of strong men and the wails of pagan babies and the grinding and gnashing of infinite teeth, and I can see all of you saying O! If only! If only I had listened to the good Reverend Cross and forsaken the comforts of oafish companionship and had gone to church and performed good deeds and believed and acted in the knowledge that my redeemer liveth! Be sure that your sins will find you out; yea, even to the mere second iteration, and that every reiteration leaves a black mark on your soul that can only be cleansed by true repentance, the repentance of the genuinely sorrowful man who repents of his folly and recants his vulgar speeches in defiance of our Savior! Only then can you be rescued from the bottomless pit of sorrows that the Devil Himself has set aside for sinner cast out from the eternally pearly gates!  For God, my friends, will NOT be mocked! God will judge from the burning pit which the evil one has set aside to punish sinners found wanting in the eyes of an angry God!”
 
“Heed me! I myself am but a poor sinner but one who has seen the light and feels compelled to offer you a terrible warning! You cannot live in a land swarming with filthy things–and fail to be defiled yourself with the pitch and filth and burning shame! O, ye stones, ye worse than senseless things! YOUR SOUL WILL NOT BE SAVED, AND YOU WILL TASTE THE FULL WEIGHT OF GOD’S INFINITE JUSTICE! 
 
“A prophet is without honor in his native land, but I say unto you that unless you heed these words and cease bowing down before false idols such as this sapient, sagacious but idolatrous wallowing pig, and wallowing yourselves–in the defiance of your mean sins–then GOD will come up to you–like a thief in the night–perhaps this very DAY!–and cause you much turbulence and sorrow and even inconvenience. Use your own two legs and flee this vile den of iniquity–and, in so doing, save your soul!”
 
“What soul? The soles of our feet?”
 
Big Haw Haw.  
 
“The fear of God has LEACHED out of you and unless you sincerely repent, God will one day visit all of you–LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT–and deliver the consequences of His almighty WRATH unto YOU ALL.”
 
“You all? What, is God a Southern fellow?”
 
Big Haw Haw.
 
Rev. Otis Cross turned purple with rage.
 
“God will not be mocked! God will not be MOCKED!”
 
“Then why did he send YOU?”
 
Big Haw Haw. 
 
“It is, perhaps, appropriate that I find myself in a den such as this–go to where the sinners are–I can do no other–where people worship a filthy loathsome swine.”
 
“HEY! Watch it!”
“We like that pig!”
“Better’n you!”
“That Pig is as clean as a hound’s tooth!”
“Leave ‘at pig alone!”
 
But the Reverend was on his soap-box, now, and he faced the assorted rabble unafraid and in full command of his faculties.“This pig, sullied from having tasted of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, ought to himself be cast in that eternal fire. Which eternal fire, you ask? The fire that burns but does not consume! False idols! Depraved magic! Ludicrous fabrications! False fabulations! Sloth folklore! The innocent but all-too-knowing pig should be decently put to death, and the man alongside him, for it is clear that the both of them are in regular communication with The Evil One, and that no good will come from them, their products, their presence, their stunts and tricks, or, for that matter, to any that communicates or has intercourse with or ejaculates with phrases of joy in the presence of them or any who are like them!”

A bit of white froth began to appear upon the left corner of the Good Reverend’s mouth.

“Do not the maunderings of this loathsome heretical swine reflect merely the effects of Lucifer his own self and his perfidious black arts–learned, all right–learned at the feet of the father of lies!?”

Jim Whitey stared in awed silence at the Reverend’s peroration, but those as knew him well also knowed and full well that Whitey was no doubt preparing a corker of a speech to lambaste him, and was only awaiting the proper moment to unspool it. Because in the show business, as everywhere else, timing isn’t everything–it’s the only thing.

1*SALUTATION

THE ROSS SISTERS
ALSO SEE:

LORD BUCKLEY

THE NAZZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0x5x8lyON8
http://www.informer.org/nazz.html

2*REFERENCE
The Unstoppable Rise Of Antibiotic-Resistant Organisms
http://disinfo.com/2014/01/unstoppable-rise-antibiotic-resistant-organisms/
3*HUMOR
SERVE YOURSELF!
Questions that continue to puzzle you POOR UNENLIGHTENED PEOPLE are ALL answered in my new book, Serve Yourself! What I Learned About the Universal Cosmic Insights That Really Matter That Your Feeble Minds Cannot Grasp While Squatting in a Stinking Mud Hut in the Solomon Islands While Safe In Their Snug Beds at Home Communist Slackers Made a Killing in the Black Market As Told to My Pet Cat Mr. Meow. It is published by the Universal Fire Press–It’s actually a very modest press. I run it out of my Wizard’s Hut–and I have about 498 copies in my basement, slightly soggy, so please–order now!
4*NOVELTY
 
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
 
6* DAILY UTILITY
ALSO SEE:
 
7*CARTOON
 
8*PRESCRIPTION
40 MAPS THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE SENSE OF THE WORLD
http://asheepnomore.net/2013/12/29/40-maps-will-help-make-sense-world/
9*RUMOR PATROL
GEORGE ORWELL EXPLAINS “1984”
I must say I believe, or fear, that taking the world as a whole these things are on the increase. Hitler, no doubt, will soon disappear, but only at the expense of strengthening (a) Stalin, (b) the Anglo-American millionaires and (c) all sorts of petty fuhrers of the type of de Gaulle. All the national movements everywhere, even those that originate in resistance to German domination, seem to take non-democratic forms, to group themselves round some superhuman fuhrer (Hitler, Stalin, Salazar, Franco, Gandhi, De Valera are all varying examples) and to adopt the theory that the end justifies the means. Everywhere the world movement seems to be in the direction of centralised economies which can be made to ‘work’ in an economic sense but which are not democratically organised and which tend to establish a caste system. With this go the horrors of emotional nationalism and a tendency to disbelieve in the existence of objective truth because all the facts have to fit in with the words and prophecies of some infallible fuhrer. Already history has in a sense ceased to exist, ie. there is no such thing as a history of our own times which could be universally accepted, and the exact sciences are endangered as soon as military necessity ceases to keep people up to the mark. Hitler can say that the Jews started the war, and if he survives that will become official history. He can’t say that two and two are five, because for the purposes of, say, ballistics they have to make four. But if the sort of world that I am afraid of arrives, a world of two or three great superstates which are unable to conquer one another, two and two could become five if the fuhrer wished it. That, so far as I can see, is the direction in which we are actually moving, though, of course, the process is reversible.
http://disinfo.com/2014/01/george-orwell-explains-wrote-1984-letter-reader/
 
10* LAGNIAPPE
I RODE A MURDER TRAIN
I rode a murder train; along the aisles
Its passengers stood back to back
And troubles were their tribal lot;
And I saw death upon the way
He wore a face which time forgot
Afflicted with a million Smiles
I felt the train begin to sway
And knew that I was never coming back.
11* DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
SUPERBOWL AS MIDWINTER SEX FESTIVAL
The ovum-shaped football emerges from the huddle and is attacked by multiple male sperm until one successful candidate carries it across the threshold. This process is reiterated until one genetically superior tribe “wins”.
Baseball is a hearkening back to the days of the Republic before the Civil War. Football rubs it in our faces.

CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE. 726.
ON LITERATURE AS PRESENTLY PRACTICED
Could we pretty pretty please have a moratorium on precious poetry and writing-school prose? I mean, goody goody gumdrops, and gosh-all fishhooks, it sure is nice to know that people are in touch with their innermost feelings and stuff. But…since when does being literate mean the long-suffering reader must put up with solipsistic bilge written by humorless, emotionally frozen writers who couldn’t ad lib a belch at a Hungarian banquet?

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